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Weekly CICADA-scope

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Week of 3/19: CICADA-scope



1_Aries.png.e7c8949208a07b2906a7b92f79742189.pngAries: All your wildest dreams will come true, which would be great news for somebody whose subconscious isn’t as relentlessly weird as yours.


2_Taurus.png.6e2caf477161e1668cd37a56a110b618.pngTaurus: Mercury is in retrograde starting this Thursday, and while you’re not 100% clear on what that means, you’re prepared to use it as an excuse for absolutely everything for the next month.


3_Gemini.png.ea7a1641915052ddb3f5f2bd07e97b6b.pngGemini: Devour.


4_Cancer.png.970874db3af326d613bdb22a9933ab46.pngCancer: The stars don’t want to freak you out any sooner than necessary, so they’ll, uh, let you find this one out on your own.


5_Leo.png.c611ee3756337ea895516d0c8778039f.pngLeo: This might be the week that cute person you’ve had your eye on finally moves out of “friend” territory and into “corroborating witness” territory.


6_Virgo.png.f7f8ab3268aec4054a8c824d929e5054.pngVirgo: Your budding music career will stagnate this week when it occurs to you that all the good songs about being a little teapot have already been written.


7_Libra.png.76e7f78f302ecac98755be4546ac7efc.pngLibra: When it rains, look for rainbows. When it’s dark, look for eyes.  


8_Scorpio.png.16821b588133b7e2cc2562189b7c7c66.pngScorpio: It’s a good time to make a big change in your life. Start by anchoring yourself with silk to a strong tree branch and begin the process of shedding your skin to reveal the glistening articulated exoskeleton beneath.


9_Sagittarius.png.510623df41b6c7f39964f6e77ebdd966.pngSagittarius: Always be yourself, no matter how many billions of people beseech you with weeping and clasped hands not to.


10_Capricorn.png.62e1a9972e18202bb7a5d4325ec9a61b.pngCapricorn: You will someday have the dubious distinction of being the first human skeleton reconstructed with wild inaccuracy by alien paleontologists.  


11_Aquarius.png.b8e9645a338da488052480b55cae1c74.pngAquarius: Practice a little self-care this week! Burrow into the sweet dark earth, surround yourself in a mucous cocoon, and hibernate until everything looks a little friendlier.


12_Pisces.png.9250eaa6fa0a042073807380733d36f1.pngPisces: Learn to see the beauty in your differences—your leathery bill and venomous ankle spurs are what make you you.  



images © xenia_ok/Shutterstock.com; painterr//Shutterstock.com