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Weekly CICADA-scope

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Week of 3/26: CICADA-scope

Autumn

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1_Aries.png.e7c8949208a07b2906a7b92f79742189.pngAries: Take some time to focus on the little things this week. Specifically, all the little things infesting your hair and clothing.

 

2_Taurus.png.6e2caf477161e1668cd37a56a110b618.pngTaurus: It will soon occur to you that the majority of your current problems could be easily solved with about 1.5 tons of fresh tuna.

 

3_Gemini.png.ea7a1641915052ddb3f5f2bd07e97b6b.pngGemini: Sure, having a pet can provide a lot of mental health benefits, but this probably doesn’t apply to that thing you keep in the attic.

 

4_Cancer.png.970874db3af326d613bdb22a9933ab46.pngCancer: It’s spring, and you know what that means, Cancer: molting season.

 

5_Leo.png.c611ee3756337ea895516d0c8778039f.pngLeo: Making new friends is simpler than you think—straw, burlap, and flannel shirts are affordable and easy to come by.  

 

6_Virgo.png.f7f8ab3268aec4054a8c824d929e5054.pngVirgo: There’s something in your teeth. No, not there. Nope, you didn’t get it.

 

7_Libra.png.76e7f78f302ecac98755be4546ac7efc.pngLibra: If you’re feeling a little burned out, try going for a soothing nature walk in the dense and unspeakably ancient woods that surrounded your home overnight and appear to be getting closer to your door with each passing hour.

 

8_Scorpio.png.16821b588133b7e2cc2562189b7c7c66.pngScorpio: Remember the old saying: early to bed and early to rise helps you grow hundreds and hundreds of eyes.

 

9_Sagittarius.png.510623df41b6c7f39964f6e77ebdd966.pngSagittarius: As it turns out, you can get away with a lot of things by calling yourself a performance artist.

 

10_Capricorn.png.62e1a9972e18202bb7a5d4325ec9a61b.pngCapricorn: The odds of getting attacked by a shark are approximately one in 11.5 million, and the odds of getting a royal flush in poker are one in 649,740, which will make what happens to you on Thursday that much more statistically remarkable.

 

11_Aquarius.png.b8e9645a338da488052480b55cae1c74.pngAquarius: Things might seem a little tough right now, what with the locust swarm and the pox upon your cattle and the plague upon your land, but seriously, you would feel a lot better if you took up yoga or started a gratitude journal.

 

12_Pisces.png.9250eaa6fa0a042073807380733d36f1.pngPisces: The stars are wondering how you’d like it if they gazed at you through a telescope all night. Creep.

 

images © xenia_ok/Shutterstock.com; painterr//Shutterstock.com


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