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Weekly CICADA-scope

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Week of 4/23: CICADA-scope



1_Aries.png.e7c8949208a07b2906a7b92f79742189.pngAries: Someday, your Wikipedia page will hold the record for most vandalized article.


2_Taurus.png.6e2caf477161e1668cd37a56a110b618.pngTaurus: You will experience an incident this week which will give news editors everywhere cause to coin a term for a large gathering of anteaters.


3_Gemini.png.ea7a1641915052ddb3f5f2bd07e97b6b.pngGemini: Mars and Pluto will collide in your eighth house this week, causing untold millions of dollars in property damage and heavy casualties.


4_Cancer.png.970874db3af326d613bdb22a9933ab46.pngCancer: Your disturbing misinterpretation of the saying “two heads are better than one” will go down in history.


5_Leo.png.c611ee3756337ea895516d0c8778039f.pngLeo: Your gift for flattery gets you out of a lot of sticky situations. The stingers concealed in your elbows are good backup.


6_Virgo.png.f7f8ab3268aec4054a8c824d929e5054.pngVirgo: The heavens advise you to invest in several hundred Hawaiian shirts and don’t ask so many questions.


7_Libra.png.76e7f78f302ecac98755be4546ac7efc.pngLibra: No.


8_Scorpio.png.16821b588133b7e2cc2562189b7c7c66.pngScorpio: The week will close out with a full moon in Scorpio, and you know what that means—time to stock up on crickets, cockroaches, and other crunchy snacks for your transformation.


9_Sagittarius.png.510623df41b6c7f39964f6e77ebdd966.pngSagittarius: Someday you will find a dentist specializing in pharyngeal jaws and serrated teeth.


10_Capricorn.png.62e1a9972e18202bb7a5d4325ec9a61b.pngCapricorn: Time for some spring cleaning! Sweep out all of the old bones and husks cluttering up your burrow for a fresh start.


11_Aquarius.png.b8e9645a338da488052480b55cae1c74.pngAquarius: The stars see a lot of cows in your future. They’re not sure yet if this is a good thing or a bad thing.


12_Pisces.png.9250eaa6fa0a042073807380733d36f1.pngPisces: You should probably be a little nervous about the full Greek chorus that’s been following you around and collectively commenting on your life lately.


images © xenia_ok/Shutterstock.com; painterr//Shutterstock.com


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15 hours ago, drowntown said:




Someone's just going to have to edit his page to make him an Aries.

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