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The CICADAverse

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Please Enjoy this Quiz*

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Autumn

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Please enjoy this quiz.  

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  1. 1. Are you enjoying this calming music that we’re piping into your helmet?

    • I am enjoying the calming music that you’re piping into my helmet.
      0
    • I would like the calming music in my helmet to be a bit louder, please, because I enjoy it so much.
      0
    • What is the name of the calming CD that you’re piping into my helmet? I hope to purchase it after this quiz is over.
      1
  2. 2. What three words would you use to describe CICADA? Pick any words in the world, as long as they appear in the following lists.

    • Enlightening, informative, edifying.
      1
    • Well-designed, tasteful, elegant.
      0
    • Pioneering, innovative, groundbreaking.
      0
  3. 3. How happy are you to be a faithful reader of CICADA?

    • I have never been happier.
      0
    • Words cannot describe my happiness.
      0
    • Boy, am I happy!
      1
  4. 4. Has CICADA ever wronged you or frightened you?

    • What an amusing question! The CICADA team sure likes to joke around.
      0
    • Absolutely not, and I will eliminate anyone who dares to imply otherwise.
      1
  5. 5. Fill in the blank: CICADA is ______ to me.

    • Everything
      1
    • Life
      0
  6. 6. Does CICADA give you everything you need to live a useful and productive life as a reader of Cicada?

    • I have everything I need to live a useful and productive life as a reader of CICADA. The stories and comics stimulate my imagination and provide me with a full, enriching vocabulary. The glossy front cover amuses my eyes, and every piece of artwork inside creates a pleasing vibration deep inside my brain that keeps me glued to the page for hours and hours! I am overjoyed at the thought of spending the rest of my life reading my favorite periodical of all time, CICADA.
      0
    • I have everything I need to live a useful and productive life as a reader of CICADA. The stories and comics stimulate my imagination and provide me with a full, enriching vocabulary. The glossy front cover amuses my eyes, and every piece of artwork inside creates a pleasing vibration deep inside my brain that keeps me glued to the page for hours and hours! I am overjoyed at the thought of spending the rest of my life reading my favorite periodical of all time, CICADA.
      0
    • I have everything I need to live a useful and productive life as a reader of CICADA. The stories and comics stimulate my imagination and provide me with a full, enriching vocabulary. The glossy front cover amuses my eyes, and every piece of artwork inside creates a pleasing vibration deep inside my brain that keeps me glued to the page for hours and hours! I am overjoyed at the thought of spending the rest of my life reading my favorite periodical of all time, CICADA.
      1

*That is definitely not mind control

 

Oh hi there, CICADA reader. We had no idea you were coming! Sit right down in this comfortable chair. Why not place this lovely white helmet over your head while you’re at it? My, how big your eyes are. Now answer these questions in whatever way you like. Remember, there are no wrong answers, just ungrateful insubordinates. 

Xoxo, CICADA

---

 

RESULTS:

You are a…

Faithful and happy CICADA reader. Congratulations! After incredibly complicated calculations on our part that you needn’t bother trying to understand, we have determined that you take great pride in being a happy, industrious reader of CICADA. Yes, CICADA is central to your very identity, and you would be lost without it. Utterly lost. Read on—forever and ever and ever.

 

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