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  1. Yesterday
  2. Secret Diary

    I wrote this a while ago when I thought we could all use something a little less heavy and meant to post it here but then I didn't, so here it is now: We should all keep a secret diary in which to deposit our stupidest thoughts and lamest jokes that no one else will laugh at you know, the ones that follow no reasonable logic and reference 3 different fandoms and a good handful of inside jokes We all need a secret diary inside a well-worn leather cover or a very private online document or maybe in the margins of our most boring notebook whatever suits us best It's all right to have a secret diary it's not silly as long as no one finds out and they better not find out 'cause if they do we'll be in trouble, won't we people might find out who we really are what a scandal! no no we can't have that So let's hold on to our secret diaries don't let go of who we've learned to be or who we've just stumbled into becoming or who we've run away from but ended up as anyway because it's not just any old person who can see us all the way through so we'd better look good and hard ourselves
  3. Last week
  4. every word against my abusers character is still shards of broken glass within my throat hot wet blood slick and thick drip into pages of books i'm trying to put down, set to rest, put to bed, i am kin with the alien spacecraft hovering, dull and strange, pockmarked with memories of another world, marred with bullet holes,clouds gather at the edge of my vision, inside my greedy thankless throat they precipitate needlessly, desperatelyplastic keepsakes, gifts, tear me open at the seam, click against my bones foreign and slick in my bloodstreammy thoughts are junk mail tossed aside but relentless and needy i feel strange and sick and I would like to leave, now, please
  5. Ugh my head hurts so bad rn its making me nauseous

    1. hayfevered


      feel better... :( my good vibes are coming for you

  6. Fashion

    we are the goon squad & we're coming to town *beep, beep*
  7. im so fucking close to winning two whole ass months yal

  8. Mama's face

    @hayfevered Yeah, I remembered. Thanks!
  9. Graduated 8th grade last night, i leave on my class trip tonight at 11:00


    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. The Invincible Troodon

      The Invincible Troodon

      That's great! I hope you have a good summer!

    3. Connor


      Thank you Troodon I hope you do to.

    4. justaddbooks


      Yay! Congrats!

  10. Spinal Cord Staircase

    So this was really spontaneous . . . When I climbed the staircase up my spine I hoped to reach my brain but the road was littered with so many other people's thoughts I got lost but that's alright it's beautiful here full of words and music people singing and arguing my brain I think would be far too lonely
  11. Magnet poetry

    During a 30 minute wait at snow city the morning after my 8th grade graduation . . .
  12. greek iris

    here, in these heavy, yellow-bellied clouds swelled with the storm, pleased by the weight unraveled & mouthy comes thunder where spindle-weak fences pin down the hills & the hills let them, & the winds scream praises, & the barbed wires rename themselves please small suns dot the gaps between lightning fingers & the sky sobs yellow-green, like the stomach of a frog here, under these dripping prayers, sweetgrass laid limp over itself and dew-shining, i ride my bike to the end of the sidewalk & that, where the rain peels itself up from the concrete humid for the sunlight, greek iris in prosper & that, where i stop propped on one foot that is what love tastes like
  13. Guys I'm dying my 7th period teacher just didn't show up bc no one is here oh my god

  14. I'm literally the only one out of all my afternoon classes that couldn't get a ride home after my AP exam so I'm the only one in my classroom right now.

  15. im depressed and not doing great big surprise

    everyone else gave up on me and it seems that there's no merit to life anymore throw my ashes off mt. fuji in springtime because if i can't see the cherry blossoms i might as well become them i don't want a funeral i don't want to be remembered but don't worry the raven queen will treat me well
  16. Regret

    The symbolism of regret It hangs around you. What is guilt? It asks. “It’s you.” I reply. “It’s The constant reminders in Dreams. Small things like windows. And folded pieces of paper you throw at the wall. You see their face everywhere. You can’t ever touch it. Or speak to it. It’s too far away and leaves you reaching for the mirage. It is the clock on the wall. No one can ever fix. Because when he died it stopped. And he was the only one who knew How to fix it.”
  17. Hey guys I just came out as lesbian to a bunch of my friends and some of my family! It was pretty good, but I was wondering if any of you had advice about how to react to a certain situation? I was coming out to some of my close friends and this one guy, who's more my friend's friend was there too. I didn't plan on him being there, but it was okay and I didn't mind him knowing anyway.  He texted me to ask about how my parents reacted- I assumed he was just worried so I told him they were fine, and today he texted me asking about how I figured out that I was gay.  To be honest, I don't completely want to answer him. It's not my responsibility, even if I'm out, the information feels too private given that we aren't very good friends, and I didn't even plan to come out to him, but I feel bad about not replying because 1) I'm out so it doesn't really matter 2) What if he's asking because he's gay? Am I adding on to internalized homophobia if I don't respond? 3) What if he's trying to understand someone he's close to that's gay? 4) He's a nice person, it's not like I have anything to be afraid of.

    I don't really know what I'm doing, sorry if this is completely incoherent.

    1. queenie_flower


      hey buddy I’m maybe not the best person to ask about this but I’m going to answer anyway. 

      1) He is not your responsibility. Tell him it’s still kind of a private thing for you, even if you are out. He should understand, especially if he’s nice and understanding like you’ve made him out to be. 2) Do try to reply in some way, even if it’s just telling him what I suggested in #1. I don’t think you’re contributing to internalized homophobia by not telling him your personal journey, even if he’s gay or pan or questioning or just. not. straight. (Anyone can correct me on this, I know i could be wrong) 3) You can always ask him why he wants to know. There is nothing wrong with that, and unless his friend is still closeted, he’ll probably tell you if it’s for his friend. 4) I like to think of myself as a nice person too, and while that may make you feel bad about not answering, it definitely doesn’t mean you have to because he WILL understand.

      TL;DR: do reply, but don’t feel like you have to answer. It’s your life, he should get that.

      -queenie out

    2. hayfevered


      if u need someone else's anecdote u can say that my Gay Awakening was when i agreed w one of my friends that x celebrity or y classmate was hot and then later i was like Oh No Theyre Hot Hot you know??

      alternatively my other Gay Awakening was 'wow i love cuddling this person but im straight! can you kiss someone on the mouth and still be straight? wait a minute. Oh No'

    3. justaddbooks


      @queenie_flower thank you! I agree that it's probably just best to talk to him.

      @hayfevered i burst out laughing thanks

  18. Your weekly CICADA-scope!

    It's that time of week again.
  19. a galaxy rings your throat

  20. Week of 5/15: CICADA-scope

    Aries: Most people would be creeped out by a derelict battleship found mysteriously drifting with no crew, but you’re willing to put up with a lot for free rent. Taurus: When you’re backed into a corner, don’t be afraid to show your teeth. All of your teeth. Your hundreds and hundreds of teeth. Gemini: Your practice of channeling your stress and anger into gardening has resulted in incredibly anxious chives and passive aggressive rosemary. Cancer: Like the rest of your crustaceous kind, you will eventually outgrow your current protective shell and must find a new one. Leo: You’ve definitely got some skeletons in your closet—make the best of the situation by dressing them up in cute crocheted hats and bowties. Virgo: You’re not really sure why you stand in the same spot in town day after day shouting FINE ARMOR AND SWORDS! every time a certain person walks by, and you’re not really sure where you go when you aren’t doing that. You think about it sometimes, but every time you get close to understanding something about your situation that person walks by again and all your thoughts are chased away by FINE ARMOR AND SWORDS! Libra: The stars would like to remind you that you’ve got 206 bones in your body and you’ll surely be fine without one or two. Scorpio: Prepare for a big surprise in biology class when you learn that most of your peers didn’t spend the first year of their life as an insectivorous aquatic larva. Sagittarius: You’ll soon find out why all of the possums for miles around gather outside your house at night and stare into the windows while you try to sleep. Capricorn: Your compulsion to crowd-surf at every large gathering is going to get you into trouble one of these days. Aquarius: They all mocked you for majoring in bagpiping, but you’ll have the last laugh when they find out how the invading aliens communicate. Pisces: Alleviate your worries about the future by putting your seal skin back on and returning to your people in the ocean. images © xenia_ok/Shutterstock.com; painterr//Shutterstock.com
  21. Almost nothing scares me more than hearing or seeing the word T****y.  It used to not bother me but holy shit, I come across it and i'm fucked up for the rest of the day.

    1. hayfevered


      oh god, same. to a lesser extent tr*p as well bc there are people who genuinely believe it's ok to call me that

  22. continental drift

    there is an entire science to the tectonic plates. but we are not continents, so why are you so far away?
  23. there's something about brand new bright red converse that just instills confidence in a person

    1. queenie_flower


      Yes that’s my girl go take over the fucking world.

  24. Some Angsty Shit

    *hugs you*
  25. Beautiful

    I know a dragon dark as carbon With blue eyes like bilberries That shine in the blackness. She’s beautiful, slender, Delicate fingers reach out to me As I trace her soot-streaked sides. She’s quiet, too, soft in a way, And her billowing wings unfurl gently Each time she glides towards the sky. Sometimes I try to follow her but I’m heavy, iron-plated, steel talons That scrabble across the cobblestone And I can never lift off. Sheet metal wings could never fly And she’s so scared every time I throw myself off the cliff again Just to see if I can reach the upper atmosphere. But she’s always there to catch me When, inevitably, I plummet back to the ground. She sighs, then, and it sounds like Angels, or maybe the very first dragons That walked the earth four million years ago. She tells me that even though she’s bone and breathing And I’m bubbling magma and embers, Copper scales and built by other hands In some forgotten forge, I’m beautiful too. On those days, when she takes my dented hands In hers, the rust fades from my tarnished heart And perhaps I’ve started to believe her.
  26. Are you ready for summer?
  27. oh lore?

    "Bitch," was the first thing out of Rad's mouth as their focus shrank into their palm. "Ain't you familiar with common courtesy at ALL? If you's'a been slurped into my dimension, y'ain't've lasted five seconds." To fucking hell with it, they figured, and twirling their tiny focus around clawed fingers was admittedly a little easier while they undid Mop's glamour halfway to a gaudy walking stick size, bronze suddenly dripping off it in cascades of what appeared to be beads. Oh, perfect. The drama deity had a shiny-ass parasol to go with their flair for theatrics. "An' that's how it's done," they all but sneered, tapping their glamoured staff onto the ground with finality, spinning it by the handle to accentuate the bullshit aesthetics they'd worked into it. And because this was, of course, some kind of pissing contest, Radish spent more magic on upping their physical glamour; while they apparently refused to vanish their horns, the red desaturated from them while they molded their appearance to something more human. "Bitch" was repeated at Mop with a much more self-satisfied air of confidence. @thepensword@conradbirdie@queenie_flower (im crying i need to draw radish theyre so extra)
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