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it’s like the moon when it’s up on the other side of the globe.
i’ll leave y’all behind when you decide to let me self-destruct
in peace. it’s not the actual self-destructing i care about, it’s
that it shows me you care. i woke up and i was trying to kill
you.
i tell myself that it’s going to get better better better!
but when i hit the ground i still won’t eat enough and i’m
still too large and i’d still die to get away from my mother.

it’s like when i love you loud enough that the whole world
knows but no one really cares. except for not really, because
i’m terrified and you’re uncomfortable most of the time, and
so it never really works out like that. i’d pretend to be drunk
or something when i display vulnerability, especially around
you, but we all know that’s not going to work out. we all know
i don’t drink and i’m too candid to fake my way through 
something like that. 

i just want to learn how to say “i love you,” without hurting anyone
or myself or making things weird. 

  • this is a poem about comp het crushes and how they can overlap into friend-love type situations. written while listening to car seat headrest's 2011 album twin fantasy.
     

 

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he/him pronouns please!
butch dysphoria is real

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dude, this is r e a l l y good, you're an amazing writer!

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current number of classic lit characters ive gone out of my way to project on and reason out why they might be gay: 8

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7 hours ago, conradbirdie said:

dude, this is r e a l l y good, you're an amazing writer!

thanks so much, birdie! <3

  • Like 1

he/him pronouns please!
butch dysphoria is real

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