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@drowntown @Short_comedian @conradbirdie @The Invincible Troodon

“Is this really a party, Nick?” she asked, leaning on the counter across from Unit Four’s dad. “And yeah, I’d like a fork.” Nick still had this panicked air around him that she had noticed when she slammed open the door of the apartment. Maybe he was just like that all the time? She turned to face Caenus. “Also, Caenus, what is the deal with this place? I mean, I’m grateful you let me bunk with an emo kid, a lost-looking girl, and a genius with a cool-ass kid,” she said, pointing at each one of them. “But this is a little weird. I’m not down to get murdered or anything.”

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@drowntown @Short_comedian @queenie_flower @The Invincible Troodon

"Valid questions, y'all. I'm gonna just, like, rummage through your shit? Sorry, Caenus. Gotta find forks." He started peeking in various drawers and cupboards with no visible pattern to it. "My bet's on Caenus just being really chill. I'm pretty sure he was just as cool when I first met him, so, I mean, I'm just going with previous patterns 'n shit. But yeah, I can't get murdered yet, I've got work. Any of y'all can hit me up to murder me in, like, three years or something. Not now."


current number of classic lit characters ive gone out of my way to project on and reason out why they might be gay: 8

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(I wrote out my response earlier but couldn't post, so here it goes)

@conradbirdie @queenie_flower @drowntown @The Invincible Troodon

 

Caenus dutifully finished the ramen and handed out bowls. "Forks are in the farthest drawer to the left, Harley. I really hope there's not gonna be murdering tonight, because I'd be the first suspect," he gestured to the replica Claymore sword mounted on the wall. "I just wanted to put some good karma out into the world," he shrugged. As the group all sat down in various places around the apartment, Caenus decided that maybe it was time to lay down some ground rules. "Four rules though. One, all those under 18-" he looked at Agnes- "are to call their parents or whoever is in charge of them and tell them that they're safe. Rule number two, if you're running from the law-" he shot a quick glance at Nick- "I want deniability. Three, don't touch the sword. Four, don't get me evicted. That's all. Sleep where you want. I'm willing to give up my bed if two of you don't mind sharing." Caenus got up to put his empty bowl in the sink, and, as a joke, tossed a bottle of Windex to Nick.


Not quite sure where I'm going, but I'm going somewhere, that's for sure.

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Lost-looking? No thank you. Call her parents? This would not be good. Then again, her actual parents? One was dead and the other hadn't lived with her in ages. She supposed her brother was "in charge" but he pretty much left her alone.

"Look, I'm not the charity case you seem to think I am, okay? I know how to take care of myself and I will do as I please. How much older are you?" Agnes snapped.

She angrily stabbed her ramen with a patterned fork before looking up again.

@Short_comedian @drowntown @queenie_flower @conradbirdie

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June laughed nervously, looking around the room to see other people's reactions. "Hold on," she said. "Nobody called you a charity case. I'm sure you had a plan when you were walking alongside the road and actually took the invitation to come to this place, bless your heart." She paused. "I mean, I came here too, but I was told my sister had an emergency and I shouldn't leave this not-murder house. So there's that. We can have a chat about our obviously tragic backstories later," she said, rolling her eyes again in case anyone thought she'd look forward to this inevitable event. "Nobody doubted your ability to take care of yourself, kiddo, just your access to running water and like, a shelter." She stabbed at her own ramen, gesturing with another brightly patterned fork from Caenus' drawer. "I'm gonna be the last person to tell you what to do. I hate it when anyone tells me what to do--" her voice was muffled now by ramen, "--anf iam no 'ypocrite." She swallowed and looked over to Caenus. "I'll abide by your rules if I get the deniability thing, too. If y'all are criminals, don't get me wrapped up in that shit. I hate courtrooms. And also, Caenus, I've already broken Rule Three. I nearly knocked your fucking awesome sword off the wall and thus had to touch it to keep it from chopping my feet off and killing Unit Four." She grinned at the room, standing to put her own bowl in the sink. "I feel like we're going to get along."

 

@conradbirdie @The Invincible Troodon @drowntown @Short_comedian

Edited by queenie_flower
HOW WILL YOU KNOW I EXIST UNLESS I TAG YOU

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"Emo? The fuck's emo??" And oh hell, yep. Sword. "Y'all, I already almost fuckin' died once, thanks. Shit ain't fun. No murders." As soon as one was available, Nick promptly forked piping hot instant food into his mouth as a way to avoid conversation with a mouthful. Hmm. First degree burns. Delicious. "Wait, fuck the law? Who's running from the law? Did I say that? Why're you looking at me when you say that?" And to himself, ponderously, "is that what emo means?? Fuckin' criminal?" Dropping his half-full disposable bowl on the counter with the fork still stuffed in his mouth to free his hands, Nick deftly caught the Windex. Sticking his fork back in the bowl, he muttered "you dare doubt the power of anxiety cleaning?"
Nick wasn't even going to touch the argument between June and Agnes, instead picking his bowl back up in place of the Windex, which he'd gone ahead and stuck on the counter. He stared into his bowl like if he didn't watch it, it'd sprout wings and a beak and bite him. Kind of feeling like retreating to a two-blanket nest with his food, Nick self-vetoed on the grounds of potential mess-making on the carpet. Not that he was prone to spills, but it felt rude.

@Short_comedian@conradbirdie@queenie_flower@The Invincible Troodon

Edited by drowntown
keep forgetting the tags lmao

holla holla get dolla

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@drowntown @Short_comedian @queenie_flower @The Invincible Troodon

Harley was too busy dropping the candy bars in favor of shoveling ramen in his mouth like it was the best tasting thing he'd had in his life. It was mediocre, at best. But hey, hunger makes the best sauce and all that jazz. He sure as hell wasn't complaining. What he was worried about, though, was the various arguments going on. So once he'd managed to finish his bowl in record time, took a second so his voice wouldn't be all post-food-wide, he tried to address everything in turn. Bad habit of his, trying to lowkey mediate, highkey just wanting to be heard.
"Caenus, dude, what counts as running from the law? 'Cause Four's technically 'stolen property'," cue the air quotes, "but they're, like, from my patent. And I gave the right people a refund and everything. Uh, Agnes, you could probably beat me up, I'm sure you can take care of yourself and everything, it's chill. June, you're a fuckin' blessing. But if we all share tragic backstories or whatever, know that Four's gonna butt in a lot, this is their story as much as mine. And if any of y'all are rude to them, I'll-" He made a vague gesture. "Be really pissed off, I guess? Steal your blanket in the middle of the night or something? Nick. Dude, okay, fuck- Think of it this way. I'm a fuckin' loser, June's a solid jock, Caenus is preppy as hell, and you're an emo. It's just styles 'n stuff. You dress like how bad electric guitar riffs over a front man who actually just whines and screams and calls it singing sounds. That's emo."


current number of classic lit characters ive gone out of my way to project on and reason out why they might be gay: 8

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"Okay, Harley, you have me beat in illegal activity. So Caenus, he's the lawhopping fugitive, not me." As per Harley's emo explanation, though, Nick's mouth fell promptly open into a D:< face. "Let me be emo in peace, alleged loser. I don't actually think you're a loser. I suck at comebacks."

@conradbirdie


holla holla get dolla

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@drowntown

"It's not, like, super illegal!" Harley did quiet down then, trying to make sure Unit Four wouldn't boot back up and get upset Harley was talking about them behind their back. "I have a case for the ethics side of things, anyway, where just 'cause I promised to sell them a functioning AI doesn't mean I have to sell away a straight up sentient kid. Just trying to raise Four right, dude." That didn't stop his from snorting and stealing half a bite from Nick's bowl. "You do suck at comebacks though, like- Pretty sure that was a compliment, through and through. Take two? Something more like, 'I don't actually think you're a loser, I think you're a-' Insert insult here?"


current number of classic lit characters ive gone out of my way to project on and reason out why they might be gay: 8

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"While I agree with those ethics, that sounds more illegal than unproved vigilante-ism." Cracking half a grin and mockingly hoarding his bowl out of ganking range, Nick set it back down after a half second of being facetious. "Uh. I don't actually think you're a loser, I think you're an....emo." Nailed it. Victory kimchi noshing.


holla holla get dolla

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June raised an eyebrow. “Wow. That’s... not a great comeback. To anything. You didn’t know what emo meant until five minutes ago. It’s a culture, Nick.” She dropped onto the floor and reached for one of Harley’s candy bars. “And I’ve got you both beaten in legal trouble, but I’ve technically got a clean record. Don’t bother looking me up. I want to hear that vilgilante stuff sometime though. Sounds like a riot.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder, flashing a smile at Harley, who certainly wasn’t a loser and was very much a good parent. “And I am a blessing, you’re right. Also a jock, a saint and a goddess, but who’s keeping track?”

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"Hey, I said unproved. Who says it's me? Well, a lot of people do, but who can prove it's me? Well, probably someone, but until that somebody frames me I have deniability. So. Unproved. Ha. Take that, your highness." Scraping the bottom of the paper-styrofoam hybrid bowl with his fork, Nick finished up his rice and stuck the fork in the sink and the bowl, after a little hunting, in the trash.

@queenie_flower


holla holla get dolla

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@drowntown @queenie_flower

"Aw, fuck, is heroism illegal now? My main dude Spider-Man's gonna get in some deep shit. And apparently you, too? Did you beat up total assholes or something?" He got distracted by bumping back Nick enough to chuck his own bowl in the trash, so the full effect of how baffling Nick's attempt at a comeback was kinda surprised him. Enough that he burst out laughing before he even processed it. "I'm- I'm what? Y'all, listen up, I've gotta get my hair cut into some fuckin' Justin Beiber-y swoop and delete all my music in favor of, like, three MCR songs." He returned back to the counter, grabbing another one of his discarding candy bars and holding it out to June to toast. You know. With candy bars. L'chaim. 'Cause pretty much everyone in the group needed it. "I can add 'totally humble' to that list," he said with a grin.

Edited by conradbirdie
  • Like 1

current number of classic lit characters ive gone out of my way to project on and reason out why they might be gay: 8

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"Dude, y'know there was like, an entire series about Gotham cops trying to kill Batman? Vigilanteism is so illegal. Hey. I said unproved." Kind of a frown. "You mean four. Four albums, actually." You're making a reeeal great 'not an emo' case here, Nick.

@conradbirdie


holla holla get dolla

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@drowntown

"He'll be added to the 'in deep shit' list. But he's, like, a grown, super rich dude. Peter Parker and Mile Morales are normal, non-billionare kids in, like, a ton of their content. Batman can handle his own shit, I trust him." Another laugh as he leaned close enough to try and tell if Nick was joking. "And I take it you have all four? If not, I'll totally buy them for you. Uh- If they're cheap. No offence, but I'm valuing gas money over your emo completion right now, bud."


current number of classic lit characters ive gone out of my way to project on and reason out why they might be gay: 8

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"You callin' Spiderman normal? Kid got bit by a radioactive arachnid??" Nick snorted, cocking his head as Harley got close. "Of course I have all four, what do you take me for? Free, too. Ripped 'em from YouTube. Add that to the list of unproved criminal activity, m'dude." Chuckling, he pulled out his old-ass first-gen Moto. "Takes up half the space on this thing. You got Bluetooth? We can share pirated spoils." Letting the 'emo completion' comment go with a shake of his head, Nick felt super gay in this Chili's tonight.

@conradbirdie

Edited by drowntown
fuk

holla holla get dolla

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@drowntown

"He was normal before all that, though! The whole origin story thing just, like-" He mimicked some kind of 90s daytime movie trailer voice, "Whoa, what a topsy-turvy mixup! Accidentally got superpowers that just kinda give me anxiety, and now my uncle and only father figure's fuckin' dead, dude! Better get into wrestling!" Still, he broke character to fumble for his own phone, patting down his pockets like that would help at all. "Fu-uck. I do, I'd love to give you some sweet music in return, but I think I left my phone back in the car. Shit, maybe- Hold on, come meet my kid." He craned his neck enough to peer into the living room. "Hey, Four? You mind hanging onto some music that's way out of both of our tastes, just until tomorrow?" With a whirr, Unit Four booted up again. "Only if the giver of strange, non-comfort-zone music explains themselves."


current number of classic lit characters ive gone out of my way to project on and reason out why they might be gay: 8

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"Oh my god. I mean, mood. Sans superpowers." Nick mimicked Harley's movements, dinner plate eyes watching Four inquisitively. "Whoa, shit, hi. What am I explaining? Because I'm gonna make it clear right the fuck now that if I'm explaining myself, in general, I have no sense of identity at all. So. No dice there, pal." Wiggling his phone, though, the screen rotated distressingly because the screen lock was off but fairly clearly on the screen was some emo bullshit. "Music? Bluetooth?"

 

@conradbirdie


holla holla get dolla

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@drowntown @conradbirdie @The Invincible Troodon @Short_comedian

“Oh my god it lives,” June squealed, running across the room to kneel in front of Unit Four. “This is so cool. You’re so cool. I’m not the person you’re about to get music from, by the way. Oh my fucking god, you’re the coolest.” She turned her head to look at Nick. “I mean, now I really want to know more about you, Spidey. I was joking about the tragic backstory sharing time, but now I think we might need it. And no, I didn’t exactly get in trouble for beating up assholes. Well, I did once or twice. My really claim to fame with the cops was shooting a dude in the leg. He’s fine now, regrettably enough. I mean, he’s in jail, but otherwise fine.” She turned back to Four. “I saved your life earlier when you were asleep, by the way. You’re welcome.”

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@drowntown @queenie_flower

Four's fans kicked in, enough that Harley reluctantly broke away from Nick to step over enough to fuss with the microphones to try and get them more evenly spaced around Unit Four. He still looked back at Nick to grin and wave him over.
"June, dude, you're a continued blessing. Thanks for like- Stating your purpose and all that jazz? So, like, this is a new place for Four, so they have to work to filter out background noise for a sec. S'kinda overwhelming at first." He unwrapped his candy bar and took a bite, moving to sit cross-legged, facing Four, who beeped exactingly. That got Harley to laugh again, even if he was careful to keep it quiet so it didn't echo and register as background noise. "I'm gonna introduce y'all, okay? So, there's June, who's sitting next to me. She's pretty fuckin' sweet, looks like a fairy princess with the body of a part-time superhero. And then there's Nick, the literal part-time superhero, apparently? He's the emo fuck who's gonna give us some sweet tunes for the rest of the car ride. Nick, get over here, talk to my kid, let them figure out your voice."
Four's fans quieted down, just in time for them to remark, "I'm not your biological child, though. There's nothing biological about me."
"Adoption. Plus found family shit. Made? Made family?"
"You got me there. Can someone tell me where we are? The heating and cooling system sounds half-broken."


current number of classic lit characters ive gone out of my way to project on and reason out why they might be gay: 8

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"Agnes, I'm not calling you a charity case. You don't have to call them if you don't want to. I'm also 20, so I don't have to check in with my parents," he said before muttering "not like they want to hear from me anyways." He looked at Nick. "Your vigilante stuff is cool, but still. Deniability. As for all you other people with criminal records, I'm not about to use that sword on a cop, if you get what I'm trying to say."

When Unit Four made the comment about the heating system, Caenus laughed. It was all too true. He looked at Harley. "Can I introduce myself to them?"

"I'm not all that up for sharing backstories right now, but if it'll make you feel safer about sharing an apartment with a bunch of random people, then I'll share mine."

@conradbirdie @The Invincible Troodon @queenie_flower @drowntown

Edited by Short_comedian

Not quite sure where I'm going, but I'm going somewhere, that's for sure.

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Rolling his eyes, he mumbled "I said unproved literally like six times, guys. Unproved vigilanteism. Which means it may or may not have been me. Can neither conclusively confirm nor deny." Stepping forward to crouch next to Harley and kinda wave at Unit Four, Nick sank eventually into something crosslegged. "Hi. I'm Nick. 'Sup." Aside, to Harley, but not really: "I'm not emo, you fuck."

@conradbirdie@Short_comedian


holla holla get dolla

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June elbowed Nick before Harley could respond. “A great way to be accused of being Emo Spider-Man— and don’t try to tell me you’re no emo, you have a godfucking wallet chain— is to say like eight times some people may possibly think you’re a vigilante fighter for justice.” She looked back to Unit Four, thinking through her words once before she spoke. “If you don’t mind me asking... did your dad create you just for the fun of it, or for like... a specific task? You’re obviously more than that either way, but... I don’t know. When I woke up this morning I wasn’t exactly planning to potentially offend an AI.” She ran a hand through her hair. “Man, this whole day is a mess. I can’t even go to the police station to see if my sister’s okay.” She looked around the room and sighed. “Part of my tragic backstory, and as story time is still up in the air, I’m just going to pretend that I’m moving on and hoping Unit Four doesn’t know everything about me yet.” She shoved the last of her candy bar in her mouth, then turned and leaned back on her hands, facing the room. “So how’s everyone’s day been?” She asked with a grin. 

@The Invincible Troodon @conradbirdie @Short_comedian @drowntown

Edited by queenie_flower
These tags are going to be the death of me

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@drowntown @Short_comedian @queenie_flower @The Invincible Troodon

Harley held up his finger for a moment, fussing with the wires a little more. "Four, you all good with everyone coming over? Not a huge crowd, promise. Just four people and me." Another whir for a second. "Bring on the loving masses." And with that, Harley turned back to grin at Caenus, waving him over, too. Still, he bumped Nick's shoulder with his own. "Pleading the fifth isn't the most sure thing, my dude. But Unit Four, trust me, Nick's emo as hell. June's observations are spot on. And you already know Caenus." He tipped his head back enough to peek at the man in question again, to explain, "Talked to them about you way back when we first met and everything." At June's question, though, Unit Four's fans stopped completely. "I was made to predict the activity of criminals assigned to me. I did not handle to job well. I don't wish to talk about it." The fans kicked back in again. "You didn't 'personally offend' me, though. And I don't 'know everything about you yet'. Emphasis on yet." Harley snorted and combed his fingers through the mess of wires as soothingly as he could, even though Four would probably poke fun at him for trying to show tenderness in a way he knew was useless due to lack of sensors. Still, he kept untangling the wires as he spoke, "Don't spook her, Four. But yeah, I think we'd both, uh- Appreciate it if we could keep the whole story time possibility to when Four's powered down to recharge or something. I'm sorry about whatever happened to your sister, June." His tone changed to something lighter then, "But hey, I dunno about y'all, but my day's been fuckin' wild. I got stuck in an apartment for the night with, like, four other weirdos."


current number of classic lit characters ive gone out of my way to project on and reason out why they might be gay: 8

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"Insert obvious Hal 9000 joke here. (Hal deserved better. I have lots of feelings about this.)" Watching Harley's hands at the wires intently, it took Nick an embarrassingly long moment to realize that all this talk of voice and appearance probably meant Four didn't have eyes. Or, anything that served as eyes. Man, Nick had feelings about robots. Wondering if the AI felt claustrophobic in that little body, unable to see or touch or breathe, Nick missed a lot of the conversation simply studying the surface of Unit Four's chassis, silently twiddling his thumbs. He wondered if Four was connected to the internet, or if connecting was what crashed them. Or, he inferred that Four crashed. Something. "They hook up to webcams?" Speaking up completely out of context and for the first time in approximately a hot minute, it's possible nobody would fucking know what Nick was talking about. "Unit Four, I mean."

@conradbirdie

Edited by drowntown
fuck?

holla holla get dolla

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