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i want to go back to 

mud on my rainboots

pasta collages

and dust motes in the afternoon sun


i want to remember

my great grandma's back yard

the french in my best friend's voice

and the unbearable heat of poolside cement


i want to know

what happened to Madeline

where I learned my quiet and logical

and the first song I ever sang


i want to hold on to

measuring the marigolds

cottage cheese with wheat germ

and sunday mornings when my dad wore glasses


All that was in the mist

Where the light was not so harsh

But the light pierced the mist

And nowhere is as safe as before

I want back that soft and comfortable

When I couldn't see past my feet

But that was far enough


Could I regain the womb

If only for an afternoon?


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