Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
hayfevered

help is this good i need advice in the next 50min

Recommended Posts

this is part of an online quiz and my teacher gave me 2 hours to a) answer an essay prompt and B) write this based on a prompt.... you dont gotta know the prompt i just need help on whether this flows or not (yeah youve seen parts of this before. i reused it because i doubt my abilities to write a good logopoetics poem in one hour)

 

 

your irises are hackmanite, and whites fall luminescent under UV
and the people stand close like Oz munchkins
it's too radiating hot where we're pressed together, all incandescent eyestrain
purples dancing across the floor, music rattling our lungs and pumping through
our ears; apple shampoo-scented tango, with caffeine sharp behind my teeth.
your skin feels blurry.
and im whispering clark, and you're whispering
'i can't believe i had my first kiss
at a fucking wizard of oz-themed redmond high
school homecoming dance. i dont even go here.'
your lipstick looks so, so blood fuchsia in the dark, neon strawberry
waiting by the water fountain, i got mistaken
for a popular instagram blogger.
i had to tell her no, tell her i aint the fleek-ass bae she's lookin' for
she looked right through me, all my flash (bang!) matte glitter
"my god, your dress!" comes from the bathroom. i am an underdressed glory
the gold sequins of hourlong toil are little suns of the dance floor
my shoes scream of the ethicality behind the millions
of times ive jumped on them so far tonight

as i gusted through your soul.
the tension in the air is enough to hobble dogs with,
my mouth will blink quietly.
after poe: quoth the raven,
birds in the weather die together
eso si que es
o dearest of the dance floor, my grammarian lion, i can bear your heavy heart
and that neon lipstick looks like love smeared at the corner of your mouth

  • Like 2
  • Love! 1

holla holla get dolla

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sign in to follow this  

×