Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
bluebird

what happens when you procrastinate before you take a shower

Recommended Posts

 

i.

i’m standing naked in front of the sink

 

examining myself like a cadaver

 

i can’t decide whether i like

 

what i see because

 

i don’t believe the mirror or my friends

 

when they tell me i’m pretty

 

maybe i’m unphotogenic or conditioned into

 

hating myself

 

who knows

 

 

ii.

my skin and the room are turned vanilla

 

by curtains that dim sunlight and block the outside

 

and i haven’t shaved in weeks

 

because it’s so cold so so

 

cold goosebumps dot my arms and

 

dark hair grows in all the places it shouldn’t

 

i’m

 

 

iii.

envious of blondes and a lot of people really

 

 

iv.

i’m sorry

 

 

v.

there are three scars on my leg

 

from my neighbor’s dog

 

where the skin is not real skin but

 

stretched and red and indented

 

another on my right hand from

 

a plastic chair (long story)

 

a fifth on my ankle from twisted metal and

 

a sixth on my arm from

 

me

 

 

vi.

sometimes i wish we were all

 

blind and always i wish i saw more girls

 

with smiles on billboards and

 

mall store signs

 

 

vii.

i smile often

 

but do i deserve to?

 

 

viii.

i’ve gotten so bony to the point

 

where i can stack quarters on my collarbones

 

and you can see my sternum

 

in the right light

 

but is that good or bad?

 

am i beautiful or

 

not?

 

 

ix.

i can never

 

decide

  • Like 5
  • Love! 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Beautiful words. Impactful words. You beat me again, I was literally going to write something like this.

 I’m sorry there’s another person out there who’s not sure if they’re beautiful or not, and I feel like saying that you are even though I’ve never seen you would just reinforce the “They’re just saying that” aspect, which I know I struggle with. Learn to love yourself, and believe other people sometimes. Just a little bit at a time. It will get better. 

Also if the collarbone thing is intentional, please stop yourself before you go past the point of no return. 

Sorry I didn’t critique the poem much, it was just a little too close to home. 

queenie out

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, queenie_flower said:

Beautiful words. Impactful words. You beat me again, I was literally going to write something like this.

 I’m sorry there’s another person out there who’s not sure if they’re beautiful or not, and I feel like saying that you are even though I’ve never seen you would just reinforce the “They’re just saying that” aspect, which I know I struggle with. Learn to love yourself, and believe other people sometimes. Just a little bit at a time. It will get better. 

Also if the collarbone thing is intentional, please stop yourself before you go past the point of no return. 

Sorry I didn’t critique the poem much, it was just a little too close to home. 

queenie out

thank you so much <3 it means a lot. i'm sorry you have to deal with this too!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh my gods this hit me. Yes, I was reading a book that had rape in it and that's a huge trigger for me earlier, but I just took a shower and just did all of these things. I just can't even. Oh my gods. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/27/2018 at 6:16 PM, bluebird said:

there are three scars on my leg

 

from my neighbor’s dog

 

where the skin is not real skin but

 

stretched and red and indented

this is really good surrealist imagery...it stood out to me specifically

also yeah i second what queenie said-- ive been there, and if the collarbone thing is intentional....please take care of yourself.

my trick to that is that i'd be sad if all the good bacteria friends in my stomach died so i feed them like id feed a pet :0 it helps

  • Like 1

holla holla get dolla

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sign in to follow this  

×