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the most ridiculous thing about realizing you’re probably a lesbian

is that it’s also the first time that your heart pounds

really, really fast

like lightning strikes flying out of your body

when you see a boy,

not because you think he’s hot but because he’s gay.

too.

he’s gay too, and you’ve talked about Love, Simon together

(you told him how you cried 3 times)

he’s gay too, and you forget to agree with him when he calls other guys cute

(because it’s so exhausting to trick yourself into saying

something you know you’ll never actually believe)

he’s gay too, and when you make a comment in English class about how

hypocritical biblically driven homophobia is when you talk about Oscar Wilde in class

(you blush too hard and stumble and stutter over your words too much)

you're afraid he did a double take from the desk behind you,

gaydar: on

insecurity: detected

you: gay

it’s not like you’re even really friends-

you don’t wave to each other in the hallway because

to be honest he’s a little intimidating

(and you’re 95% sure he does drugs, and even if it’s just weed you’re

500% sure you don’t want to get mixed up in that)

and you’re a nerd and you don’t like his popular-ish friends

(they’re snobby, and this comes from experience)

but still, these are the lightning strikes you can finally point out in dark, dark blue skies

and lean back, laughing at how stupid and blind you were before

for thinking the fires you tried to start out of a broken matchbox and fear could ever compare

to

a wonderfully platonic feeling of not being alone.

  • Like 6

respect existence or expect resistance

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this is weirdly cute? Also I really like this particular collection of words:

On 4/17/2018 at 7:54 PM, justaddbooks said:

hypocritical biblically driven homophobia is when you talk about Oscar Wilde in class

 

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i don't know why it took me so long to see this but uh. i love it? it's really really nice thank you for writing it. i particularly like the lightning metaphor and how you brought it back at the end of the poem. it helps tie it together really nicely.

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