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I find no solace in safety
The curling breathing breakingness of pain gives me more opportunity for introspection
Than quiet rooms or soft sandy coves

I adjust
So quickly
I forget
Everything but today
My face changes every hour.
My Mama is different.
Seeing her face reminds me of a thousand things
Like the paintings of a blind man,
Her skin is all furrows and bumps
Coiled, hardened hair.
I have painted over the canvas of her
So many times
I can feel yesterday’s expressions beneath the surface.

My Mama does not let go.
I dreamt that I was full of medicine
That even in the hospital there was a half chance I would survive
Half chance I would not.
I asked her “talk to me” but she was silent.
Grabbing my body she threw me into cars, beds tables.
50% chance that I would die before I ever caught her eye.
Her too busy worried about whether I would decay
Than if, should I live, I would ever be okay.
That’s Mama.
Perhaps,
It’s fair.

Sometimes my Mama touches my hair.
I wonder if she feels its smoothness 
And wonders how I forget so quickly.

But I hold nothing.
Sometimes I wish I worked in a mine.
My weak heart and frail limbs could bend and twist and shudder.
As I so frequently bend against what is probable,
With each day a half-chance to make it out alive, I would arch my spine
And I would, perhaps, survive.

There’s no point in holding on.
There’s no reason to step back.
I cut off my hair where it began to tangle
I rode the bus back home where I paint the face of Mama again
I wait for my hands to finally rest
When there are no more faces to paint, and night falls.
 

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8 hours ago, The Invincible Troodon said:

I find no solace in safety
The curling breathing breakingness of pain gives me more opportunity for introspection
Than quiet rooms or soft sandy coves

i love these lines so much. this entire poem is just amazing.

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On 5/6/2018 at 9:24 PM, The Invincible Troodon said:

@Ainm Your assistance is requested.

theyre boycotting the slam bc of the paywall sorry dude


holla holla get dolla

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