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begin by listening

not to yourself

for when I tried to be prettier

softer

less awake

no matter what I would

see my reflection everywhere

and without falling

through the looking glass

I would hear them

and I was never

enough for the looking glass

so it shattered

and on the crushed-glass shores

of the river where I wept

where I said amen and I mean because

nothing is correct when I say it nothing

is holy is sacred

ever shifting river of opinion

you cannot break the river

even ice did not shatter so

my tears melted the frost

my blood ran hot

 

and when you listen to others:

have faith

for they think the blood and tears you shed

is water turned to wine

they believe in miracles

of white-hot lightning crowning hips

of blue eyes like a storm

of warrior’s legs and Aphrodite’s curves

carved marble beauty

I do not claim to possess any

stars freckle new skin and

golden hair spun from straw

maybe if you write it down

you will believe in miracles too

 

listen child,

for someone loves you

someone must want to know

how you feel under their gaze their hand their

someone must, mathematically,

you believe in probability,

do you not?

remove the variables

such as yourself

and clearly if p then q

it’s obvious

you are obvious,

and yet oblivious

allow yourself to fall

through the looking glass

let you believe

in something you can blame

 

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