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the floor doesn’t vanish; i can still feel it below me

it just feels like i’m not pulled down to it anymore

like i can’t reclaim my gravity

i become a blank sheet of paper

buzzing static silence

i don’t trust the brain i once called my homeland

it’s vanished, too, in the pounding

seemingly

(in retrospect, it fasincates me how one part can be looking in on the world, the other on its outside looking in, but in the moment i can sense that division and it scares me)

manic but not happy

the vague opposite of happy

my brain has switched frequency

spinning too quickly

running too fast tapping doing  without thinking so it doesn’t mean anything

heart punches the beggining of my neck  dragging me

away from myself

into a montrous stranger

scribbles with no order

insanity

i am floating

for one awful moment i don’t know how to restore my gravity

 

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i meant: (in retrospect, it fasincates me how one part of me can be in the world, the other looking from the outside, but in the moment i can feel the division and it scares me)

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