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woundedBirds

soul gust waltz

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author's note: this was a heavily structured poem for class please check the file download if ur curious :3

 

 

your irises are hackmanite, and whites fall luminescent under UV,
and there's glitter smudged across your nose.
it's too hot where we're pressed together,
incandescent eyestrain purples dancing across
the floor, music rattling our lungs and pumping
through our ears; apple shampoo-scented tango,
with caffeine sharp behind my teeth.
your skin feels blurry.
and im whispering clark, and you're whispering
'i can't believe i had my first kiss
at a fucking wizard of oz-themed redmond high
school homecoming dance. i dont even go here.'
we're not whispering.
waiting by the water fountain, i got mistaken
for a popular instagram blogger.
i had to tell her no, because i had to water my succulents.
(the desiccated succulents of cyberspace app content)
i found you again, living like tulips in a thunderstorm,
as i gusted through your soul.
'eso si que es',
my mouth blinks quietly.

Logopoetics writing exercise.pdf

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holla holla get dolla

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I really love your writing style here (which is kinda your normal style but i mean I like that too so), but your word choice takes it to that vague-yet-overly-specific style for the reader, which I did a terrible job of explaining but hopefully it makes sense? I love it?

5 hours ago, woundedBirds said:

your irises are hackmanite, and whites fall luminescent under UV,

okay I was trying to do light recently and you did this so well

5 hours ago, woundedBirds said:

apple shampoo-scented tango,
with caffeine sharp behind my teeth.
your skin feels blurry.

This is the vague-yet-specific balance I was trying to articulate but I can’t words ever so here’s the example of it I liked the most bc how

5 hours ago, woundedBirds said:

i found you again, living like tulips in a thunderstorm,

this almost seems like a line from another, far calmer poem when it’s standing alone, but the imagery is beautiful? And with context it blends so well?

okay I’m good. Sorry if I sound like a overcome fangirl whenever I non-constructively criticize any of anyone’s works on here. I promise I mean it. 

now excuse me while I go try to use this pdf

Edited by queenie_flower
queenie out
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On 11/30/2017 at 12:42 PM, woundedBirds said:

please check the file download if ur curious :3

I used this to write a poem, and it was a fun time. Thanks for the resource! :) 

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ᚐᚅᚋ

 

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