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woundedBirds

*finger guns* dialogue

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[author's note: a bit of dialogue facilitated through a chat client used by two characters. it's a homeless snippet so ill probably never put it into a story, but im crying laughing over here so im posting it]

 

-- TT [turingTested] began pestering KA [kaffenAficionado] at 9:13 AM --

TT: Good morning, I'm suffering from sleeping on the fucking floor all night.
KA: Well, let's go find breakfast, and maybe some coffee.
TT: Coffee?
TT: I'll put creamer in YOUR coffee.
KA: What flavor of creamer? If it's pumpkin spice, that's too white girl for me.
TT: Hazel-NUT.
KA: Only you would make a nut joke about coffee creamers.
TT: You charmed yet?
KA: Keep flirting and you might find out.
TT: Honestly all attempts have been shots in the fucking dark.
TT: I have no clue how to flirt.
KA: Well, then this is gonna get hella awkward, isn't it?
TT: There's an approximate 78% chance that yes, this is potentially going to reach ungodly levels of awkward.
KA: Well, I say we make awkward work.
TT: You know what else you make work?
KA: You're going to turn this into a pick-up line, aren't you?
TT: You bet that sweet ass I am.
KA: Why are you betting your own ass?
TT: Holy damn.
KA: Honestly, if this planet doesn't kill me, your flirting will.
TT: Now that would be a cryin' shame. I ain't no necrophile.
KA: Jesus christ, Hal. They say silent as the dead and you're doing something wrong.
TT: Well, you obviously haven't listened to my faaavorite Halloween song, Code Blue.
KA: Honestly, terrible as that was, I can probably top that.
TT: Joke's on you, Kade. I bottom for no one.
KA: Let's just get you your god damn coffee.
TT: AHAHA YOU CONCEDED
TT: THIS MEANS I WIN
KA: Oh, fuck off.
TT: AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS
KA: *Heavy sigh.* You get to leave your wallet at home.
TT: IM ORDERING 11 SHOTS OF ESPRESSO
TT: ANY MORE AND STARBUCKS CUTS ME OFF
KA: I'm paying, so I'm setting the rules, and I'm telling you RIGHT NOW that all you're getting is decaf.
KA: You're terrible enough even without caffeine.
TT: Spoilsport.
KA: Your impending myocardial infarction thanks me.

-- KA [kaffenAficionado] ceased pestering TT [turingTested] at 9:38 AM --

 

[another author's note: also @O. Captain i feel like you'd appreciate this for. ahem. shared literary tastes]

  • Like 2

holla holla get dolla

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I was going to comment but then forgot but now I'm coming back to comment for real and the saved text was just "oh boy" and I think that just about sums it up. Neat pesterlog through, I do like the interaction between KA and TT.

  • Like 1

O. Captain / Cap / Nevermore || fae/faer, they/them, it/its, neutral pronouns

your local space captain and eldritch horror extraordinaire

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