Jump to content

woundedBirds

  • Content count

    66
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    8

woundedBirds last won the day on November 19

woundedBirds had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

59 Excellent

About woundedBirds

  • Rank
    Imago

Recent Profile Visitors

631 profile views
  1. pinterest?

    im a tagless gremlin under the URL corpus--corvus lmao i can't get to tumblr til tomorrow but ill follow u
  2. we'll be ok, boy

    so ill teach my brother how to squirrel pills into soft of his cheek above bracket and brace because mom, regional center veteran will check under tongue & never, never, never can i be again inactions clenched in jaw and fist him, back-first to carpet, mouth pried open and dose shoved in chased by water there are some things kids don't get to choose & never, never, never again will i wear 'bystander' can i will i should i how bad will it be if i do Contact Name: CPS Speed Dial: 2
  3. quiet, boy

    through dinner, mom sits haughty in brother's table-set place, & he's put down, patella biting hardwood kneel like i told you to she doesn't eat, rather his laptop propped glare-eyed open log in meets i won't & she spits there are hospitals for kids like you i'm going to bed, he twists over cry-swollen tongue and oh, father, mild father heavy-handed shoulder weight & mom bites kneel like i told you to
  4. hush, boy

    theyre screaming, actually hollering at my brother, tears and throat scratch & he's yelling back, yelling threat and fight and raw defiance in face of parental intervention & he's shouted his last, gone away sulk-shouldered they talk about him in moderate, father mild, chalked to teen age evens out mother wild, voice still raised and rolling med threats like hard candy in red, finality-caked mouth & there are some things kids don't get to choose
  5. Characters!

    ME but i took four years sdkgjlsdfjs and i still dont understand despacito im crying all ur characters are so relatable i lvoe them so much
  6. aaah thank you so much!! these are good things to look at and im def coming back to this poem for revisions skdgjdkfs (also i agree about the last line ksdjgkdfs it's poorly worded bc im all about making lines the same length for Aesthetic Purposes so i just. added useless words to it) again, tysm!! <3 i really appreciated this
  7. image.png.3681d7b71e93ac1c99d4c26943996930.png

    today on: logan making bad jokes

    1. Show previous comments  8 more
    2. queenie_flower

      queenie_flower

      oh ok i see is that for when things get Serious

    3. woundedBirds

      woundedBirds

      @queenie_flower i dont know im a mess and keysmash Culture is hard to explain lsdfkjs

    4. queenie_flower

      queenie_flower

      Hey I’m a mess too let’s be friends 

  8. ocean canvas

    nono i like the end period on the last line but it was the one in that didn't flow with the rest of the poem bc there were no other periods in the direct vicinity?? idk but yay im glad you liked the feedback!! (also thank u omg ;w;)
  9. a week

    okie dokie i meant to come around to this yesterday but better late than never sdkfjsdfs usual disclaimer: i suck at critiquing pls dont take me seriously so here we go this entire first stanza took a couple readings (because im tired probably) before it sank in and i always love it when there are quotes that arent immediately identifiable as quotes (the repetition of 'what else do you do' read kind of despairing/dissociative to me and it changed the tone of the poem immediately which was an incredible whiplash from lighthearted to sad) the second line here is probably one of my favorites out of the whole poem, but 'last shreds of my sanity' sounds a little cliche compared to the rest of everything else?? that's not to say i don't like it it's just differently toned i feel like the colors and shapes listed belong to a reference im not getting??? idk maybe it's not supposed to make sense bc of the previous last shreds of sanity/repetitions and handfuls lines? hmmmm as im reading into this i didn't quite get the relation of the first two selected to the last two selected but suddenly my brain goes 'what do antidepressants/anxiety meds look like' and. yeah That. idk it took me a bit and im still not entirely sure that's what you meant (commentary on side effects?) i really, really loved this line idk why but it's Good this is kind of super nitpicky but ending with a question mark would feel more final to me ? i don't know sdkjfdfs overall 11/10 poem somber tone good poetic voice thank u for sharing it <3
  10. ocean canvas

    first order of business: holy shit. second order of business: ocean aesthetic is my JAM third order of business: i am so bad at critiquing please don't take me seriously ever sdkfjsdfs at the end of the day it's your poem/choice do not be afraid to say 'fuck that noise' and keep it the way it is bc it's so fucking good that way already THIS THIS THIS OMFG this was the most vivid part of the poem in my opinion my poetry teacher is a fan of telling me that words are currency and that each line should be its own sort of poetic, and this line was a good segue into the next one (if a little abrupt after two longer lines) but it didn't have the punch that some of the other ones did..... i think it'd have more oomph if you broke it at 'i want the marsh grass, scritch scratch grass' this line was a little confusing to me bc my brain didn't make the immediate connection to sea foam.... i was still thinking about painting birds and this bit didn't quite make sense?? but i read through a couple times and i think this is referring to sea foam so idk i LOVE how you dont even have to say fish this is such a good line omfg i love it so much....like this imagery is so powerful i just. whoa this is such a good end to the poem i love the repetition with the beginning :0 time for nitpick things: punctuation! there was little to no end punctuation throughout your poem except for in the third and last lines, and i am absolutely for ending a poem with a period for that sense of finality, but the third line threw me.... if anything, it drew my attention to that line in particular (one of my favorite lines, actually) but the lack of consistency felt a bit off. it's a really little thing that doesn't matter much in the long run but it's something to think about :0 overall 11/10 poem, thank u for sharing it and pls (pls) keep writing omfg
  11. pinterest?

    pinterest is my enemy for reverse image search but i used to have an account.......i wonder if i could make a moodboard for ya what're you lookin for
  12. tired headspace reruns flicker behind loose folded arms, spine straight against passenger seat tipped til it won't anymore-- i'd drive with you as far as the light pollution goes, into the not-quite-dark shared with star and sunset that feels like home wearing yesterday's kisses like exquisite purple scarf, eyes half-closed and staring towards orange streetlights-- i want to see the atlantic with you, to know if whitecapped waves surge green and cicadas tremolo there how i imagine they do the red stoplight shines a million times, once for each raindrop on the windshield: refracting, faceted, quartzlike-- i'd bike with you to my own childhood haunts, the concrete- rimmed tadpole pond and backyard green belt, berrypicking rock off into doze, into sleepy mind ramble and rememory, into loving you and loving you and loving you unspokenly-- i'll never be anything but good for you if it's the last thing i do.
×