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queenie_flower

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queenie_flower last won the day on July 18

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About queenie_flower

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  1. Hey guys, I’m still around (if you’re on the discord you know that) but I’m just not writing as much poetry right now. Hope everyone’s doing okay, and maybe I’ll post more soon.

  2. how to love thyself

    begin by listening not to yourself for when I tried to be prettier softer less awake no matter what I would see my reflection everywhere and without falling through the looking glass I would hear them and I was never enough for the looking glass so it shattered and on the crushed-glass shores of the river where I wept where I said amen and I mean because nothing is correct when I say it nothing is holy is sacred ever shifting river of opinion you cannot break the river even ice did not shatter so my tears melted the frost my blood ran hot and when you listen to others: have faith for they think the blood and tears you shed is water turned to wine they believe in miracles of white-hot lightning crowning hips of blue eyes like a storm of warrior’s legs and Aphrodite’s curves carved marble beauty I do not claim to possess any stars freckle new skin and golden hair spun from straw maybe if you write it down you will believe in miracles too listen child, for someone loves you someone must want to know how you feel under their gaze their hand their someone must, mathematically, you believe in probability, do you not? remove the variables such as yourself and clearly if p then q it’s obvious you are obvious, and yet oblivious allow yourself to fall through the looking glass let you believe in something you can blame
  3. “I had fun,” Nathan said. India shook her head at him and broke into a smile, eyes downcast. Her eyelids were glittery. Nathan could see where some glitter had fallen under her eyes like tiny stars. “I did, too,” she said. “Even if Erin made an ass of himself.” She paused for a moment. “Actually, that was a highlight of the evening.” Nathan grinned. India’s hand was relaxed, fingers barely keeping touch with his. He wondered if she knew she was still doing it. A bug buzzed as it hit the porch light. India jumped, dress spinning with her as she turned to look. Her hand slipped away. Nathan caught his breath. “Um… you look great,” he said after a pause. India smirked. “Are you saying that as part of your mission to treat this like a real date?” she teased. Nathan sighed. “Can’t I be nice to you?” he asked. India laughed. “But seriously, you look beautiful.” She stopped laughing. She was still smiling, which had to mean something, even if it was something soft he wouldn’t dare touch. “You don’t look too bad yourself,” she said. The car horn blared from the front of the house where it was idling. Noah rolled down the passenger window and leaned out. “Just kiss already!” he cried. “This is ridiculous!” India glared at him, turning to face the car and even taking a step toward it. “Shut up, Noah!” she yelled back. “I’ll do what I want!” Nathan covered his eyes with his hand. “I… Jesus Christ,” he muttered. “I’m driving next time.” India sighed. “That doesn’t even make sense, your house is normally like the first stop—“ “Did you NOT hear me?” Noah yelled. “I have a curfew!” India rolled her eyes. “Then let Erin drive you home, you little shit!” India called back. “Nathan can get his own ride!” Nathan grimaced. India shot him a glance. “One that doesn’t pressure him to kiss a girl! You of all people shouldn’t be forcing heteronormativity on us!” Noah gave a thumbs up. “True love is out there for you!” he yelled. India scowled. “Noah Walker, I swear to any God there may be—“ she began. Noah rolled the window halfway up. “We’ll give you some privacy,” he teased. India threw another finger up, which Noah happily returned. The car pulled away and India turned back to Nathan, shaking her head. “I’d apologize, but only because I’ve been friends with him longer,” she said. “I feel like I’m supposed to kiss you now,” Nathan said, glancing around India’s porch. India rolled her eyes. “Gee, what a compliment,” she said flatly. Nathan sighed. “You know what I mean. We’re all dressed up, we’re on your doorstep. If this was a movie, we’d be kissing.” India raised her eyebrows. “Before saying all that stuff about how great we looked and what a nice time we had?” she asked. Nathan grinned at her. “We did that already,” he said. India rolled her eyes. “Okay, Spielberg. What happens now?” she asked, crossing her arms and shifting her weight to the other foot. Nathan sighed. “Do I have to like, go through the mechanics for you? He was a boy, she was a girl--” “Maybe one of them’s gay,” she teased, shrugging her shoulders. “We just talked about heteronormativity.” Nathan sighed again, running a hand through his hair. “For the purposes of this movie, let’s assume that they’re at least bi. Pan. Some potential energy,” he said, waving a hand. “Like, I don’t fucking know. There’s stars out. There’d probably be an awkward romantic speech.” India grinned. “What’s in the speech that makes it so awkward? Couldn’t get a good enough writer?” Nathan shook his head, shoving his hands in his pockets. “You have no idea. Some shit about comparing your eyes to the sky. Especially with the eye makeup,” he pointed out. India rolled her sky-like eyes. “Writer’s Guild doing okay?” “Maybe they’re on strike right now,” he said. “I can’t think of anything.” India laughed, shifting her weight back to the other foot. Her dress rustled around her legs. “What happens next?” she asked after a moment. Nathan looked back out at the street, at the wood paneling above her head. At the trees, her shoes. She was nearly as tall as him. More than normal. “At that point you’d probably be overcome by emotion that you definitely had awakened by my high quality speech with too many mixed metaphors,” he said, finally making eye contact and the shadow of a grin appearing again. He gestured vaguely with one hand. “Like, I never came back to that whole potential energy bit. I could have easily said something about kinetic energy, like--” She took the step forward before he did, and the step back before he could try to hold onto her. She crossed her arms again, using the edge of her pinky nail to fix her lipstick. “What happens now?” she asked a final time, still a half step too close. Nathan swallowed. “What happened to ‘screw heteronormativity?’” he asked, trying not to sound completely overwhelmed. India shrugged. “Still there. I think it was the speech that did it,” she said, as if discussing the results of an experiment. Nathan nodded once. “Or maybe because I told Noah I do what I want. Or maybe I’m just a stupid girl who’s into guys. Or maybe—“ “I get it,” Nathan said. “Can you drive me home?” India laughed then. “Yeah, Nathan. Let me get my keys.” (my bi wife Jess said I should post this)
  4. thoughts on oil-paint vacation

    First of all, jess my girl, this is beautiful and the imagery makes me want to drop everything and move to italy secondly, in no particular order: (throwback to our country poems) but this flows so nicely with the rest of the poem, even if it fits in as more of an aside I don’t really know why I like this part, but I do. (I feel like you could go either way with line breaks and repeating the will I a second time) Very relatable problem, but here I feel like you do a good job of verbally capturing it. I suggest going more in depth on the essence, what bits of it you can describe. Good line to end on. Musical, a little alliteration, gotta have a cathedral somewhere.
  5. So sorry!!

    Hey @Autumn! Thanks for explaining what happened. A whole bunch of us were freaking out and tried to contact you guys, but it was a little difficult. Is there a reliable way to do so in case something else happens? Some of us tried the “contact us” link but it said we didn’t pass a security check. The only issue with that was that there WAS no security check. Is there an email we can use or a way to send asks on tumblr?
  6. say you’ll remember

    after the two week shutdown, this is more about the slam than i thought. I will miss all of you so much when we inevitably get shut out again. This site is so helpful for us sharing our ideas, our thoughts, and our creativity.
  7. untitled

    WE’VE RETURNED more importantly, beautiful. I’ve missed your words.
  8. giving myself up

    At first it was my words that I said I would protect. Then, once that was gone, I said I wouldn’t make friends. It would be professional. And after I grew too close and realized too late, I said my age. My face. All of that was gone. My voice was one piece of identity I was determined to hold onto. Even though the odds of you knowing me in person were low and the odds of you finding me because of my voice were lower, my dad’s Red Scare-esque attitude towards my identity running loose on the internet was enough to keep me as a listener. But then there was that one little lapse of judgement, just once, just for a few seconds. It was quiet in my room. My breathing kept getting picked up, so I moved the microphone away from my face, twisted the cord in my hands. There was so much you didn’t know about me. There still is. Logan said he was leaving. His voice was as high-energy as I had expected. Not valley girl. I remember wondering what you guys imagined my voice sounding like. I knew I wouldn’t ever ask. Jess said something I didn’t quite hear. It made sense that her voice sounded like music. Logan repeated, my phone’s going to die and Jess replied something I couldn’t hear over my pulse in my ears and then I did it before I lost my nerve. I’m a calculating person. I have a hard time making snap decisions. But here I was, clicking and catching my breath and suddenly I just wanted to say hi before you left. That was it. But even though my pulse was still in my ears, I could hear a gasp from Jess’ mic and Logan make some unconscious little “woah” because I had said so many times that I wouldn’t say anything. And then I laughed. One more piece of my identity lost. I won’t say lost. Given. I gave you my voice. It makes me sad sometimes when I realize you don’t know things about me the same way my friends in real life do. You haven’t seen me break down in a classroom and then deliver a flawless presentation that was the cause of said breakdown ten minutes later. You haven’t seen my face light up, haven’t heard me scream at a basketball game. You haven’t rolled your eyes in unison when a new person tries to say my name. But you know other things. You know me, differently but the same. And I said I wouldn’t give myself to you. I’m glad I did.
  9. the one who tamed the wolf

    (I know sweetie I love you too)
  10. the one who tamed the wolf

    @thepensword Flattered bc I was like “this is so great” and actually sent it to someone and secondly since never bc your tumblr is open to the whole wide internet I just found your url
  11. monster gf?

    woah hey look queenie’s indecisive about content that’s new and original
  12. the one who tamed the wolf

    I read this on your tumblr and was like “this is so good” but then I saw it here and for a brief second was like “plagiarism? My jess plagiarized?” and then I realized that no, you didn’t plagiarize, you’re just a lovely writer and I don’t read urls.
  13. I lost my motivation on a take-home test so I put on heels and now I feel like I can take over the world. Test? Aced it. Projects? Done. Patriarchy? Uprooted bc im wearing these heels for my damn self.

    (and then the high wears off and I realize I have nothing done and no clue what I’m doing and it’s going to take a lot more than me wearing heels for an hour to uproot the partriarchy and

    1. thepensword

      thepensword

      add red lipstick and take over the fucking world

  14. say you’ll remember

    @Apollo's Lover not yet, but I don’t think my subscription’s renewed after the free year is up so idk. Maybe. And also just a irl friend/having to acknowledge aging situation
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