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Everything posted by queenie_flower

  1. stairway to not-quite heaven

    It’s easy to laugh right now, and there’s something so easy about sitting around the table on three sides, telling stupid stories and waiting for our parents and we aren’t quite the last ones but it’s getting close. We gesture towards the fourth side of the table— empty except for the backdrop of the school, and I think that side would be where the cameras are for the insane discount Breakfast Club we must look like. Her with her all-black clothes and blue-tipped hair, eating salad with her fingers. You with your beanie only present in spirit from the heat of the day, your hair only sort of a mess, and jeans skinnier than mine. And me with my yellow-bright hair and pastel shirt and bag heavy with books. He closes the circle, sitting on the edge of the fourth wall, the fourth bench and grinning. He’s not waiting for a parent, but supposedly getting food for a team. We let him join the circle. It’s easy to tell stupid stories if you’re killing time, and it’s easier to do it with this combination of people that somehow would not have collided in this liquid state otherwise, running over each other. His tricep lift story is arguably the best, especially when I have to cut him off to say, for the sake of the story, let’s assume we know after he asked you know? for the fourth time in two sentences. He proudly shows off his triceps, she and I both laugh and are reasonably impressed, but dissolve into hysterics when he compares them to a mountain range. The football team laps us. He and I wave. You roll your eyes and take a suspicious looking crouton from her salad. And the stories get sillier until she mentions the fucking stair thing and I start laughing and nodding at her but he’s confused and that little half smile is pushing for information as distracted hands tap on the edge of the table. I’ve never seen you get so red. And then, the laughter dies down for a moment, and you asked if I’d make you say it in front of him and she and I make eye contact across the table again and nod. The inevitable sentence comes and the sheer ridiculousness of that statement registers on so many levels that now we are all laughing, and you nearly fall off the table because there is nowhere to go from that, especially since that’s your mother’s car, and she and I are still explaining our pity for her between gasps of laughter. The football team laps us again. You climb off the table carefully, still shaking your head. She puts her salad away. She hasn’t made a "not in front of my salad" joke yet, but it hangs in the air anyway. He stands up and begins to walk towards the woods. There’s a path that leads to the gas station that serves the best fried chicken you can get for a price that low. He stops to turn and wave at us. We wave back.
  2. Overheard Quotes

    For the past year and a half, two of my friends and I have been keeping a list of quotes we’ve overheard. Some of them require context, but I find the best ones are better off without it. For example: "You don't want to get in a fight with him. I think he kills people for a living, he's been pretty vague." “No, he’s just scared of girls. That’s not his problem, though.” “What’s in the fanny pack?” *unzips neon yellow fanny pack with a straight face to reveal fruit snacks* “You don’t want to get stabbed? That’s so extra.” “I mean, the guillotine had a pretty sweet pulley system.” “You’re overlooking all the other perfectly valid reasons I’m going to hell.” “Shrek is NOT a folk tale!” “You shake my spear.” “NO.” “FUCK YOU.” “I love it when girls say nice things.” “Do I have an ass?” “Well, all your shit has to come from somewhere.” “the gate keeps out T H E B E A S T” “We didn’t play like the fucking goose.” “How’s your boyfriend?” “Still nonexistent.” I have around 100 more pages of these, but feel free to add your own. If anyone wants more of these, I can attach more. If nothing else, it’s C O N T E N T Update: this had a great response, so enjoy some more. Like, this is the highlights of last semester's list, just to give you perspective of how many damn quotes we've collected overheard quotes pt 2.docx
  3. when the bow breaks

    and it’s horribly cruel but who would ever love you? red marble is bloodied not pure unnatural in texture and weak lunged slow-witted wild hair (knotted mess) obvious blush ugly tears liar fishing for compliments and playing dumb isn’t a good look for you and not much is a good look for you purple veins seen beneath pale palms bloodied specks hiding in shadows of knees and elbows smooth you are not with tiger-clawed hips a patchwork of scars and dependency who would ever love you? never first except in birth mantle heavy on your shoulders tied back to them by love and deep-set fears of losing failure is an old friend or at least it pretends to be masks only cover they don’t free stop and let your breath catch catch your breath instead or you are weak sick fragile useless undeserving why do you think you’re good enough you should be grateful loving family some money friends that care they do care a school an education a future white straight cis neurotypical (probablies) those curves are ones nobody will ever want to touch the eyes shine not from tears but determination because big girls don’t cry unless they’re disappointing unless they’re failing but then they see they’ve gotten to you they will remain cloaked daggers already under my skin
  4. for everyone who cares about my NHD project, my group just placed third in the state competition!

    1. thepensword


      where's the confetti emoji

    2. thepensword


      here have these terrible gifs instead





    3. justaddbooks


      That's awesome, congratulations!!!

  5. Coming Out part 2

    good luck. You’re strong, and your family should accept you no matter who you love and what you identify as.
  6. ode to my belly rolls

    I love this and I love you and you’re great and this is great and self-love is great
  7. The End for Now

    don’t delete your account. It hurts right now and I’m really sorry, but you will find inspiration again. It might not be today, and it might not be tomorrow, but someday you’ll want to write again, even if she’s not the reason why. You’re strong.
  8. can you just fucking not do that because i’m a rational girl independent learning to be strong trying harder than you ever seem to and like you’re throwing me off a lot can you just stop interrupting my thoughts? please? can you just not smile quite like that when you step in my way just so I’ll bump into you and like my name? if you could dim the light in your eyes across your face before you say that particular combination of syllables it would really help me sleep at night can you just look at the paper when i’m trying to help you you’ll understand the material better and i know that you can because if you can possibly talk about that many other things with that type of skill and you’re asking my bad-at-math ass to help you you must be pretty fucking desperate can you just (while you’re at it) stop making me fucking laugh i’m supposed to be taking notes and you’re over there calling out comments looking at me when i stifle a laugh fuck you now i want to make you laugh stop making me consider texting you at goddamn one am because i thought of something funny stop making me say stupid shit because you saying that one time that i looked like a classy prostitute was definitely not supposed to be responded to with a question if it was working especially if your expression shifted to that maybe it was the dark you paid for my dinner i had agreed to buy you coffee and that lady she thought we were dating? she called us cute? and you essentially ran away (you went upstairs. very fast) you barely finished ordering i overthought it i nearly ordered with your name (it would have been easier for them to read aloud i had the excuse planned in case i had made that mistake i hadn’t) you grabbed my arm so i wouldn’t walk into the street i didn’t even notice the street or much else i don’t remember any cars, though (was i like this even then? fuck.)
  9. bloody bandaids (tw: blood)

    Hugo couldn’t believe it had taken him this long to come to the conclusion that his partner was an impulsive idiot. Elsie had demanded to be released from the hospital early, and the doctors had okayed it. Idiots, all of them. There was space in the ER on a Tuesday afternoon. You’re going to be spending a lot more time here after you get your medical license, Hugo had said as he tried to block the door, but Elsie had whacked him with her crutch and that was the end of that conversation. Their car had been wrecked by whoever they were fighting. Hugo didn’t know when Elsie was getting a new car, or if it would be Renner with his drill sergeant body and mother bear attitude terrifying some used car dealer into giving them one. So now Hugo was helping Elsie home on foot, both of them still in bloodstained uniforms, and people were taking pictures, which wasn’t helping anything other than their follower count. Elsie demanded to walk herself home if she had to use the crutches. Hugo threatened to carry her if she tried that. Idiote, he had said. Tu es putain de fou. And then she had hit him with her crutch again and mumbled through the painkillers that she couldn’t stand him. Hugo had said it’s not like you can if you wanted to, and she had found that hysterical. She made it back to their apartment, and Hugo had gallantly not screamed at her for jumping out a window fourteen stories up and shattering her ankle along with the expensive car she landed on. He wouldn’t admit it was cool, either, and very badass. It was idiotic, and he told her so again. “At least I didn’t break more bones,” Elsie argued, wrenching herself free of Hugo’s grasp. She hadn’t needed to. Hugo threw his hands into the air, slapping them down on the edge of the counter. “You broke your ankle, seven ribs, and your collarbone, not to mention the fact that your arms are still bleeding. That’s a lot of bones. You only have 207, you know.” “206,” Elsie said without looking up. “Except I had an extra bone in my foot when I was a kid, so I did have 207 for about twelve years.” Hugo shook his head, watching the blood wash off her hands and spiral down the drain of the sink. She swore and shoved some dishes aside to keep blood from getting on them. He stood up again, pulling his shirt away from his skin where blood had dried it to his ribs. The hospital staff hadn’t cared much about him. “Did they at least tell you to sit down for once in your life?” Hugo asked, grabbing rubbing alcohol and gauze from the top of the fridge and beginning to clean his own cuts. “Did they tell you that you’re only the second emergency contact and I don’t need you to worry? I’ve got Renner for that. And let me clean that, you’re going to get an infection. Take off your fucking gloves. And take off your knives, I don’t want to be stabbed.” Hugo complied but shoved her into his chair, which squeaked as if in protest. Elsie stood back up. “Ross, sit down or I’m going to tie you to the chair,” Hugo threatened, turning away just as Elsie’s eyes lit up for the first time in days. “I’m not really--” “If you say you’re not into that I’m actually going to leave.” Elsie sighed and sat back in the chair, which squeaked again insistently. She held out her arms obediently enough when Hugo motioned for her to do so, but she couldn’t stand his running stream of you idiot you shouldn’t have I’m going to have to revive you from the dead just to kill you again that he mumbled as he wiped at her injuries angrily. Elsie made an annoyed sound, yanking the rubbing alcohol out of Hugo’s hands and pouring it over his shirt. Hugo yelped and grabbed a dish towel. “Why’d you do that? You’re supposed to be the professional one!” Elsie rolled her eyes, dabbing the rubbing alcohol into the cuts. “I’m trying to keep you from getting an infection, idiot.” Hugo gave a long-suffering sigh. “And I’m trying to stop Renner from breaking down the door and crying when he sees you,” he replied. Elsie looked out the window. “You know he wouldn’t cry. He’d punch you for not keeping me safe,” she said, rolling her eyes again. She looked back to Hugo. “And then I’d tell him I can damn well take care of myself.” Hugo shook his head. “Tu ne peux pas prendre soin d’un plante, ma crotte,” Hugo muttered. Elsie sighed. “You know I hate it when I don’t know what you’re saying.” “Obtiens un putain de dictionnaire français,” Hugo called after her. Elsie slammed her door. Hugo went back to cleaning his cuts, grumbling under his breath about incompetent doctors and annoying partners. Note: so, it only took me like two months, but I did finally post this! Anyone has any opinions or whatever, I have more where this came from. Note pt 2: Renner is their handler of sorts, and also would kill a man to help Elsie. Possibly multiple, if he was motivated enough.
  10. Breakup untitled

    feel better marshall
  11. untitled (candlelight stars)

    Snap at me If you would just say something do something That would be appreciated Look at me but see me Is that too much to ask? Tell me that I’m enough even if not for you Remind me that I actually mean something to you because we both know it Your face lights up unless I’m seeing stars where only candles flicker I don’t care if you shove me against the damn wall Just react when I speak when I move Because I can push you back I can be the one that pushes you on You say nothing when I pour my life into your lap You let me feel like everything and nothing all at once And maybe I’m not drowning but I’m certainly out of my depth
  12. Lioness

    I really love this? So much? And that’s why I don’t write much about my siblings ever, too, because what do you say about someone you’ve known their whole life and sum them up in a poem? But I feel like you did an awesome job. Your sister seems amazing.
  13. Overheard Quotes

    "I'm pregnant!" "I'm sorry for your loss" "Is Bridger an African American or a white American?" "Bridger is a dog" "How's being dead?" "10/10 would die again" "That's so fake. Like you!" "Sierra's gonna stay in the church nursery because she loves children more than jesus" "I don't know what the senior prank is gonna be, but I can guarantee it'll be lame because they haven't asked me to help yet"
  14. Untitled

    First of all beautiful, publish it. Definitely. Title idea: catch the ones that fly critique to come soon, I promise One thing before I forget: Maybe try after “for skinning and eating” “but instead with butterfly nets/ because like butterflies/ they are caught for their beauty” Mention the net again so it gives a stronger contrast.
  15. To the top/jump

    Okay so I just told Jess this but I have like no constructive criticism this second but really lovely job, this feels powerful in a very I’ve-achieved-something type of tone. I feel like you could make this into a longer poem if you wanted.
  16. sometimes anger turns to fuel in liquid fire veins

    I really love this whole poem and I really should critique things here more often but these are some of my favorite lines. Awesome job, wish I had constructive criticism but I’m mostly just here to love and support people right now.
  17. These Arms

    this is so soft and adorable
  18. untitled i

    the “should have” may beckon you but I pray to you, turn away. for even if it glitters prismatic under the light when tilted the “would you” sneaks in from the shadows if you fall from that rabbit hole that blade of possibility will become your undoing splitting every hair into infinite halves turn away love or the silence that burnt my tongue will soon match yours temper that boils over and logic that melts at a single touch i may have carried the world but now you hold it like it is nothing and I pray to you turn away before the “could i” creeps from underneath the crust and four and twenty blackbirds nest in our hearts somewhere a bell tolls and somewhere else, vengeance is ours but yet not in this universe, for the reckoning has not yet trickled down and the cracks in the stone below that waterfall have not yet grown to let more than droplets pass so until that day comes turn away for we will try to hear you but over the roar of the boiling water and through the clamorous birdsong in our souls there can only be pain turn away and let the light trickle in with the water
  19. what happens when you procrastinate before you take a shower

    Beautiful words. Impactful words. You beat me again, I was literally going to write something like this. I’m sorry there’s another person out there who’s not sure if they’re beautiful or not, and I feel like saying that you are even though I’ve never seen you would just reinforce the “They’re just saying that” aspect, which I know I struggle with. Learn to love yourself, and believe other people sometimes. Just a little bit at a time. It will get better. Also if the collarbone thing is intentional, please stop yourself before you go past the point of no return. Sorry I didn’t critique the poem much, it was just a little too close to home. queenie out
  20. Exquisite Corpse March 2018

    never did I think that chaos would be my home but the silence when it is absent is chaos in itself
  21. Plea for help

    Um hi yes I’m also very late and I’m sorry but all of us understand that you have limitations and that not everything works for you all the time. Know that we are here, and that you are important, and we respect you for having the strength to exist and to have the courage to say something. I might not give the best advice, but I can try. If you feel like you need to talk to someone, I’m here, too. The only advice I have for you is to keep trying to talk, and to think about why you need to stay alive. If you have a plant you need to water, or a friend who would be devastated, or even just a book you need to finish or a dog to pet or a specific food you need to eat, remember that your existence is important. I know that people have already give you this advice, but I feel like reiterating it is important to some degree. And to keep repeating the same stuff people have said: the discord is a good place to talk to people. The other day I was really freaking out about something that didn’t even happen recently, and I talked to someone on there. And they listened. My hands were literally shaking at the beginning of the conversation, and by the end of it I felt calmer, and a little more fortified. People are on your side. And even if you don’t want to dump your heart into someone’s lap, we’re ridiculous enough there to give you something else to think about. Stay strong. We respect you.
  22. The Greater Good (Pt. 4 | Finale)

    I know it’s been a while since you posted it but I just wanted to say that I reread all of this again today and I love it. Wonderful job. The fiction forum never gets enough love.
  23. glass scales and steel exoskeletons

    the shades of gray that paint the concrete trees that glitter with scales of glass and steel exoskeletons are beautiful I suppose and the morals of the people here seem to match every possible shade of gray always in between never entirely here nor there a purgatory a maze that I will never finish let me out of this labyrinth, I cry nobody hears me or at least nobody cares to stop another beggar on the cobblestoned corner the sidewalk stained with god knows what or perhaps even god hasn’t been informed I shrink in this concrete jungle played down to a speck a pebble lost in a gravel driveway a sea of humans and noise and infinite grays the color comes through signs that scream and dance and lure us in sirenlike signals and the people with their ideas and words and clothes and music and sound I still feel small but I know this corner this little circle and I can navigate by the stars I cannot see because I know how the ground looks below them and I know the colors here the beauty that hides within the power of people Another poem inspired by @thepensword (Urban Hive go read it) and also by the biggest US city I ever visited I actually really love cities but I was small so I was overwhelmed and don’t really remember much of it. But, I now have a whole bunch of other city poems I want to write so I’m out of my sad uncreative spiral!