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mousecircus

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Everything posted by mousecircus

  1. hiatus

    i've been really stressed the past couple of weeks, due to finals, mental health, and, to a lesser extent, social media. this site, as much as i love y'all, is the easiest for me to cut out of my social media For Now. i'll definitely check back every so often, but if you'd like to reach me elsewhere until things calm down, my contact info is as follows. discord: violet (he/him)#1290 tumblr: shehakol (main) / jellyfishdyke (personal) cell number: ask off anon on tumblr instagram: vi.oletclare twitter: seacrowned (main) / heartvexing (personal / heavy topics) um yeah i think that's everything? feel free to add me (and comment who you are here, if you can). i'll see y'all soon, i hope! <3
  2. buzzcut season

    so i'm tempted to buzz my hair thanks to mara (exit152 on tumblr) and!!!!!! i am also hella indecisive :) help me out y'all
  3. intro things :D

    *insert big emphatic keysmash here* oh the new site is so pretty!! i love it :~) i'm violet i'm 16 i love to read and write and also SCREAM about my interests. i could talk about my favorite bands for hours but!! that's for another thread. tell me about yourselves, y'all!
  4. do i have writers block? yeah.
    am i trying to write anyway? yeah.

    1. queenie_flower

      queenie_flower

      me at all times

    2. The Invincible Troodon

      The Invincible Troodon

      It's the only way to get out.... 

  5. me: *dissociating off my ass, delusional as shit*

  6. ghost rider (tribute to rush)

    this band has soundtracked all of my youth (that i remember, anyway.) the anarchist played through all of my terrible godlike anger, while i ended up listening to the pass a lot of the times i was sad. and you! you, who introduced me to them. i can’t imagine how you feel about their...end. i don’t know much about how you found them, or how you got started listening to them, or anything. (thinking back on when i started listening to them, i see a grove of trees, and the two of us. i don’t know why, but that visual fills me with hope.) i wish i had seen them in concert, back in 2015. did you ever see them in concert, i wonder? author's note: this is a very rough draft. critiques and comments welcome. it's not coming out the way i want at all, and it feels unfinished, so i'm letting y'all see it before i put it on tumblr. if it wasn't clear from the title, this is a tribute to the band rush, who recently officially disbanded...but it's also kind of a letter to my friend lem (who got me interested in their music.)
  7. HHHHHH i'm trying to write a tribute to a band that recently broke up bc they got me through a lot of hard times and it's coming out all wrong i'm [knife emoji]

    1. conradbirdie

      conradbirdie

      no worries, you'll figure it out!! and it looks like u Did if the recent posts are anything to go by kdjfjkfd

    2. mousecircus
    3. conradbirdie

      conradbirdie

      hey @mousecircus cicada's not letting me like again but My Point Still Stands. you'll figure it out, sometimes time is the best remedy for figuring out how to word things!

  8. like i just have NO sense of rhythm and no? inspiration lately and i want to die

  9. i feel super bad bc i am not as good at poetry as...some people...and i know comparison is. bad but i can't stop!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. The Invincible Troodon

      The Invincible Troodon

      @conradbirdie But my old stuff is just about the same.... Sometimes it's better. I don't think I have ever improved.

    3. conradbirdie

      conradbirdie

      @The Invincible Troodon well hey, that means you get a cool leaning experience!! what do you like more about your writing then, what do you like less about your writing now? you can analyze it to change your style as you see fit! good luck to you, dude!

    4. The Invincible Troodon

      The Invincible Troodon

      @conradbirdie I used to have ideasssssssssssssssssssssssssss.......................... Anyway thanks!

  10. mitski, screaming her head off in "drunk walk home":
    me: 
    oh mood

  11. (comp het?) crushes & squishes

    disclaimer: this thread is basically just an excuse for me to ramble about my two comp het crushes (who i do love dearly, just not in a truly romantic sense). okay so!!!!!!!! there's alex and he's a sophomore (i'm a junior) and!!!!!!!!!! he said he loves me last night (as a friend lmao :D) when i was super paranoid? love him!!!! and he's really smart and funny and cool and and and!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah :) And Then There's Lemmings... he's my comp. het crush best friend older brother figure!!!! he tries to make sure i'm taking care of myself but given that we live on opposite coasts, that doesn't work so well :( but he tries and i love him for it! and i've known him for. idk math but early in my 7th grade year (when i was 12) which was his 9th grade year (when he was 14). i'm now almost 17, so!!! i've known him almost 5 years!!! which is a Very Long Time slhflksdfh...and like, yeah lem and i have had some Rough Times but!!!!! i love him!!!!!!!!!!!! and like... idk if he Knows that he's like? my older sibling? i'm sure he's aware but. i might show him this post later today just to be sure he Knows :) anyway!!!!!! tell me about y'all's comp. het crushes / Real Crushes / squishes! :D
  12. krav maga

    after logan @drowntown hook punch. my father tells me when i am maybe 13 or 14 that he would love to sign me up for a self-defense class, but he’d have to get me a personal (& concussion-trained) teacher. this is a fact of my medical history. cross-body punch. my father continues, you might be in college, at a party, and a boy might say—this was before i came out—and a boy might say, “do you want to go upstairs and look at my Marvel Comics collection?” straight punch. he might pin you to the bed and leave you violated. empty. focus not on what is being protected against. focus only on going through the motions. getting these moves just right. and you’ll have to go to the police and let them probe inside of you, looking for the damaged points. uppercut. this is why i need you to be safe with boys, with girls, with anyone, really. fix your stance. i can’t make a fist properly. he gives up on the lesson. i know he’s too fearful of what lurks within me to ever successfully complete a lesson with me, anyway. too worried about me to ever put hands on me, even in a lesson. author's note: i have a crippling fear of assault/rape/etc., and i was in a situation similar to the aziz ansari stuff when i was 14. it's...not fun, hearing my own father say that what ansari's accuser reported trivializes "real" assault.
  13. box block (tw past abuse)

    this is sad as fuck but!!!!!!!!!!! excellent concept excellent execution. thank you for killing my writer's block <3
  14. flesh & bone [huge ed tw]

    also like this is basically just Disordered Eating Word Vomit (haha punny) but like... idk just please don't feel obligated to critique it bc ik it's bad lol
  15. flesh & bone [huge ed tw]

    skipping all the meals i can get away with and telling lem that i’m fine, i’m eating, i’m not starving myself. telling myself i don’t have an eating disorder (no really! i don’t!) because if i did, my mom would kill me. can’t have both daughters hospitalized within one year, especially not for the same thing. feeling guilty for getting a second helping of dinner, because it’s all i’ve had all day and if i’m gonna shrink down to skin & bones, i’ve got to be a lot more serious about this, right? right? not telling alex that it’s getting ugly again, because we met on the second day of my first fast and he had to make me eat. i don’t want anyone to worry, but especially not him or lem. but really, all it comes down to is that i’m tired of having a body large enough that it can be violated easily. author's note: can y'all tell i'm Fucking Suffering?? (relatedly if anyone wants my personal blog url hit me up)
  16. intro things :D

    excellent!!!!!!!!!!! @conradbirdie
  17. H fuck ... whom else drinks too much coffee and gets caffeine headaches daily bc i...suffer :)

  18. intro things :D

    NOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @bearboy
  19. update on last status: i think i'm gonna write some UH edgy eating disorder poetry and hide it :)

    1. queenie_flower

      queenie_flower

      boo... at least share it with us

    2. mousecircus

      mousecircus

      but it's gonna be Bad!

    3. mousecircus

      mousecircus

      and edgy don't forget that @queenie_flower

  20. HHHHHHHHH i want to write but my brain is A Dumb Fuck and will not provide me prompts :(

    1. flamecoloredglowstick

      flamecoloredglowstick

      i feel ya

      this has been me for the past month or so

    2. mousecircus
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