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  • It’s time to say goodbye—the community at cicadamag.com is now closed. Learn more...


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daylillies last won the day on April 26

daylillies had the most liked content!

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About daylillies

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  1. I don't wanna go

    this is exactly how i feel put into words! it's really beautiful, thanks for sharing it.
  2. a more concrete goodbye

    i'm not really sure how to put this, honestly. i could say that cicada has made these four years of my life interesting inspiring and awesome (its true!) or that i've found acceptance and learned a lot (also true) but i don't think i can put into words how i feel about all of this. but i'll try. i'm gonna mis this link in my bookmarks bar and i'm gonna miss spilling the poorly written contents of my heart to internet strangers. i'm gonna miss the nostalgia cicada gives me and that kind of good feeling you can only get from things like foggy days and the smell of grandma's house. it's gonna feel like i've got a hole right through my chest when the slam gone, but don't worry guys i've got a couple of those so i know how to deal. besides, i'll be keeping up with the discord server and archive some of y'all are setting up. so i guess it's not goodbye, really. i guess it's more of a see ya later. alligator.
  3. how to shut down

    step 1: update - "daylillies" version 2.0: i am doing well, and feeling good and i am sad to say goodbye. i am always sad when i have to leave. but this was really something special. i'm gonna miss this. - "daylillies" version 2.1: i'm kinda crying now step 2: save all memories to a back up drive - saving..... your first poem on the slam, "socks" - saving..... the countless username changes you went through - saving.... the poems the inspired you to work through writers block, past tricky obstacles, and to write in different styles and ways - saving..... the comments that helped you learn and laugh - saving..... 4 years of late nights and rough drafts - saving..... the strange feeling of belonging, even among total strangers, one that you had never felt before "the slam" step 3: give final warning - warning: i'm gonna go now (find me on tumblr @/saphicheart) step 4: unplug
  4. 2 things today!

    i have to write flash fiction for english but i can't think of anything to write about! suggestions needed ASAP! 

    also, I figured out how to put in a print subscription so that I could like be officially on this site BUT it means i would have to have a new account and like...... i already have stuff on here so hmmm. should I make a new account and just move everything, make a new account and keep this as an archive, or just not even bother with it? 

    1. queenie_flower


      I’m so glad you get to stay! But, I don’t think you can move everything. Maybe change your username here and keep it as an archive? Just be “daylilies_archive” or something?

    2. daylillies


      ooooh that's smart! thanks!

  5. father

    I thought I said I would not write poetry about you I thought I said that your corpse would not become my muse that only death becomes you and nothing else but look where we are sleepless, speechless and gripping too tightly to this pen I thought I said I would not lose sleep over you I guess I was wrong
  6. untitled

    i miss when everything was an achievement when getting out of bed was not a responsibility and things did not start at 6:00 AM i miss when friends were just playground buddies and bathroom partners gossip was just crushes and not who just killed themselves or who is high right now and where can i get some of that i miss when we called hanging out play dates, when we played make believe because we wanted to, and not because we are afraid of real life
  7. little kid closet

    i grow out of clothes often, but i never miss them, quite as much as i miss my horse sweater, all itchy and pink with rolled up edges or my purple dress, that i only wore when we made banana bread or at my birthday party in australia with the sterling roses and tea cakes
  8. Threat (tw, death, implied school shooting) (unfinished)

    i really loved this poem and the tension in it was almost palpable (it made my hair stand on end). a few days after the one in Parkland, my school cancelled the school day because of a threat, but the notice only came when I was already on the bus and on my way to school, so I really know that feeling of anxiety. stay safe!
  9. tonight, i will not drown myself

    tonight, i will not drown myself tonight, i will not spend hours wallowing in my own sorrow. i will not hate the way my body feels or lament about how dresses make my skin crawl. i refuse to. tonight i will not kill myself over the size of my chest, or my stomach. Tonight i will not chastise myself for having a complex identity. i may be a frustrating puzzle, but i believe i am a beautiful one. tonight i will not drown myself. tonight i will celebrate. AN: i saw an article/post/word thingy that was talking about how there is a sad lack of poetry about celebrating lgbtqia+/queer identity, so i thought i'd make something to contribute to that! coming off of a stressful week, this was really nice and relaxing to write, and definitely helped me feel a little better in the moment.
  10. my love, let go

    i wrote so much about you, my love, and like the timeless greeks, i compared you to marble and the gods, and i deified you so much that when i think about your name, i do not know who you are and I know i said i was over you but, i am bad at quitting things and as much as i hate it, i am weak willed, my love, and like wicked ivy, the gorgeous idea of you has trapped me in a firm embrace, and i am running out of oxygen. author's note: back on my bullshit
  11. to the girl on the sidewalk in front me: when you are at the beach, are you one of the people who lets themselves sink into waves, like they are an old friend's arms? Do you let them carry you up and down with the swells? i must admit i love those people. i mean whenever i go to the beach i can't breathe when waves get to big and visions of drowning flash past my eyes. even if you aren't one of these people I still love you. the way you walked like a child seeing the world for the first time made me smile. everything you did: the way you took a moment to inspect the hippie camper that's been parked outside of this one house for forever; the way you hopped onto that big grate in the ground and watched the air coming from it lift up the ankles of your bell-bottom jeans. it almost looked as if you were waiting for it to sweep you away, fling you onto some distant planet where everything is waiting to be discovered. it was a nice addition to my walk home, even though i didn't know who you were. perhaps i'll try trusting the waves the next time i'm at the beach. maybe i'll discover something new. to the girl on the sidewalk in front of me: thanks <3
  12. question (sorry if this has been asked before): If I had a print subscription but when i signed up on here it didn't transfer over, or whatever term is best, where do I put in the subscription number so that I can make sure that it does transfer over? (sorry if this is confusing) 

    1. queenie_flower


      it's on your profile, i think you go into settings? idk i did it awhile ago

    2. daylillies
  13. leave me be

    like everything else, you left, physically, of course there wasn't that much of you left to leave and i didn't even want to see you because i couldn't bear to see your gaunt face. eyes that were so strong once, reduced to nothing but dried up pools. i thought i'd never see you again, except in photos video excerpts that show you happy and healthy, but you came into my dreams last night, and not for the first time. you crashed a car in it. all skin and bones still. i want you to go. i want you to get out of my dreams, you aren't welcome here. i love you but not your hollowed out cheeks, or blank stare. i love you but not when you come to me straight from the pages of a halloween magazine.
  14. from the eyes of the rainbow kid

    could you imagine that, if only for a second, everything you saw, said, read was filled with color? could you see your fridays as icy blue? shimmering to almost match january, february. the clare de lune starts off golden like C and Y, darker than dandelions, and shining. then, quicker than a 32nd note, it moves to friday blue. suddenly it’s indigo and the world sinks into its purple-ish depths. imagine being able to count the rainbow. imagine calculations in everyone else’s black and white, but there are hidden spots of color between your fractions. 2 blue, 3 pink, 44 double dark green. the ones without colors? you say, there must be some. the ones without colors feel like missing keys on a keyboard, like trying to write peach may without the vowels. author's note: just for clarification, this poem is about my experiences with synesthesia! i wrote it for an assignment in english class but i liked it so much that i decided to post it here!
  15. how to trick the captcha beast (and other handy tips)

    @queenie_flower such a shame that quality swords are hard to find these days...