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daylillies

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About daylillies

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  1. to the girl on the sidewalk in front me: when you are at the beach, are you one of the people who lets themselves sink into waves, like they are an old friend's arms? Do you let them carry you up and down with the swells? i must admit i love those people. i mean whenever i go to the beach i can't breathe when waves get to big and visions of drowning flash past my eyes. even if you aren't one of these people I still love you. the way you walked like a child seeing the world for the first time made me smile. everything you did: the way you took a moment to inspect the hippie camper that's been parked outside of this one house for forever; the way you hopped onto that big grate in the ground and watched the air coming from it lift up the ankles of your bell-bottom jeans. it almost looked as if you were waiting for it to sweep you away, fling you onto some distant planet where everything is waiting to be discovered. it was a nice addition to my walk home, even though i didn't know who you were. perhaps i'll try trusting the waves the next time i'm at the beach. maybe i'll discover something new. to the girl on the sidewalk in front of me: thanks <3
  2. question (sorry if this has been asked before): If I had a print subscription but when i signed up on here it didn't transfer over, or whatever term is best, where do I put in the subscription number so that I can make sure that it does transfer over? (sorry if this is confusing) 

    1. queenie_flower

      queenie_flower

      it's on your profile, i think you go into settings? idk i did it awhile ago

    2. daylillies
  3. leave me be

    like everything else, you left, physically, of course there wasn't that much of you left to leave and i didn't even want to see you because i couldn't bear to see your gaunt face. eyes that were so strong once, reduced to nothing but dried up pools. i thought i'd never see you again, except in photos video excerpts that show you happy and healthy, but you came into my dreams last night, and not for the first time. you crashed a car in it. all skin and bones still. i want you to go. i want you to get out of my dreams, you aren't welcome here. i love you but not your hollowed out cheeks, or blank stare. i love you but not when you come to me straight from the pages of a halloween magazine.
  4. from the eyes of the rainbow kid

    could you imagine that, if only for a second, everything you saw, said, read was filled with color? could you see your fridays as icy blue? shimmering to almost match january, february. the clare de lune starts off golden like C and Y, darker than dandelions, and shining. then, quicker than a 32nd note, it moves to friday blue. suddenly it’s indigo and the world sinks into its purple-ish depths. imagine being able to count the rainbow. imagine calculations in everyone else’s black and white, but there are hidden spots of color between your fractions. 2 blue, 3 pink, 44 double dark green. the ones without colors? you say, there must be some. the ones without colors feel like missing keys on a keyboard, like trying to write peach may without the vowels. author's note: just for clarification, this poem is about my experiences with synesthesia! i wrote it for an assignment in english class but i liked it so much that i decided to post it here!
  5. how to trick the captcha beast (and other handy tips)

    @queenie_flower such a shame that quality swords are hard to find these days...
  6. 1. make yourself look bigger than it. YOU are the predator here. YOU are the dangerous beast. 2. distract it with loud noises, bright lights. the beast is stupid 3. show little emotion. do not let it see you are beaten down by its six rejections. do not show your anger at its curving and elusive lines. but show just enough to pass the "I am not a robot test." show enough to remind people that you are still breathing. 4. yell. scare it away. make it hide and cry like you once did. like you still do. 5. try again. deep breath. do not let your fingers tremble on the keyboard. do not let the beast win.
  7. dear love

    dear love, if you knew how much i loved you, you would not need to search for pieces of heart in small corners, for i am overflowing and more than willing to give Author's Note: hi i'm benny and i am STILL pining. anyway, another writer's block piece about a girl i love also i can't seem to write long poems anymore? like i've fallen in love with 5 line poems and its hard to write something that continues??
  8. sun damage

    She remembered the first time she had been sunburned. She was 6, and coming back from a trip to the Caribbean. When she looked in the bathroom mirror, after getting home, she noticed the skin was peeling off her arms and face. "Dad! DAD!" She called, worried that maybe she was turning into a lizard or something. "What's up kiddo?" Her dad had asked. "My skin is falling off!" She had cried. "Great!" She remembered her dad grinning and she remembered asking him why. "It's your sunburn healing. The old damaged skin is peeling off to make way for new, healthy skin." That night, she dreamed that the surface of the earth had broken apart and flowers had grown in the cracks. --- She looked in the hospital mirror. This is so much more than a sunburn, she reminded herself. So much more. She peeled the bandages off her shoulder. There was barely any skin left, just a pockmarked field of muscle and flesh and gooey scabs. Nothing was healing. Nothing new lay beneath that grim wasteland. She puked in the sink. Twice. That night she dreamt that lava had covered the earth and had left nothing behind but a desert of ash and fire, where no flowers would ever grow. author's note: this is sort of inspired by the story "War Machines," by Rob Andwood, that ran in the July/August 2014 issue. I wrote it a while ago, but i just found it again and decided to post it.
  9. an update

    big news: sent

    feeling: like there is a bird trapped inside my chest but also like some has taken a million bricks off my shoulders

    feeling: light, good

  10. drafting important news

    dear mom. no. mom- no. hey mom. it's me, *****. i'm just here to tell you... you can do this, you can. i'm non-binary. I know it's a little strange to hear that and i'm sorry if it startled you but i just thought you should know. it means i don't identify with either male or female (the gender binary) and i'd be more comfortable with they/them pronouns. that's not all actually (sorry). in terms of my orientation i'm asexual panromantic. it means that i don't feel sexual attraction (asexual) but i feel romantically attracted to people regardless of gender (panromantic). almost done you probably have questions so here's an faq: are you sure? yes, yes i am. I have been sure for a long time. wouldn't it be easier if you just picked one, gay or straight? i can't, it's not how i was made. are you confused? is this just a phase? no it most certainly is not, and i am not confused at all well, do you require a pronoun change? it's what would make me most comfortable, so yes. what about a name change? maybe later. doesn't it feel nicer to have that off your chest? love, ***** author's note (bc i don't see a slot for it anymore): i'm planning to come out to my mom this Saturday, which is also my birthday! i get too anxious when i have to make out loud announcements so i decided to do this by email and this is the rough draft. i'm nervous but i also can't wait. <3
  11. let a poor kid cut their hair

    it's getting too long and every time i see it i want to run to the nearest cabinet and grab the nearest pair of scissors and cut and cut and cut and cut it all off i want to go back to being confused for a boy because that would be better than having to be stuck as a girl; anything would be better anything it's getting too long but i know that i will cut it soon soon soon
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