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justaddbooks

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justaddbooks last won the day on April 20

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About justaddbooks

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    Nymph
  1. Hey guys I just came out as lesbian to a bunch of my friends and some of my family! It was pretty good, but I was wondering if any of you had advice about how to react to a certain situation? I was coming out to some of my close friends and this one guy, who's more my friend's friend was there too. I didn't plan on him being there, but it was okay and I didn't mind him knowing anyway.  He texted me to ask about how my parents reacted- I assumed he was just worried so I told him they were fine, and today he texted me asking about how I figured out that I was gay.  To be honest, I don't completely want to answer him. It's not my responsibility, even if I'm out, the information feels too private given that we aren't very good friends, and I didn't even plan to come out to him, but I feel bad about not replying because 1) I'm out so it doesn't really matter 2) What if he's asking because he's gay? Am I adding on to internalized homophobia if I don't respond? 3) What if he's trying to understand someone he's close to that's gay? 4) He's a nice person, it's not like I have anything to be afraid of.

    I don't really know what I'm doing, sorry if this is completely incoherent.

    1. queenie_flower

      queenie_flower

      hey buddy I’m maybe not the best person to ask about this but I’m going to answer anyway. 

      1) He is not your responsibility. Tell him it’s still kind of a private thing for you, even if you are out. He should understand, especially if he’s nice and understanding like you’ve made him out to be. 2) Do try to reply in some way, even if it’s just telling him what I suggested in #1. I don’t think you’re contributing to internalized homophobia by not telling him your personal journey, even if he’s gay or pan or questioning or just. not. straight. (Anyone can correct me on this, I know i could be wrong) 3) You can always ask him why he wants to know. There is nothing wrong with that, and unless his friend is still closeted, he’ll probably tell you if it’s for his friend. 4) I like to think of myself as a nice person too, and while that may make you feel bad about not answering, it definitely doesn’t mean you have to because he WILL understand.

      TL;DR: do reply, but don’t feel like you have to answer. It’s your life, he should get that.

      -queenie out

    2. hayfevered

      hayfevered

      if u need someone else's anecdote u can say that my Gay Awakening was when i agreed w one of my friends that x celebrity or y classmate was hot and then later i was like Oh No Theyre Hot Hot you know??

      alternatively my other Gay Awakening was 'wow i love cuddling this person but im straight! can you kiss someone on the mouth and still be straight? wait a minute. Oh No'

    3. justaddbooks

      justaddbooks

      @queenie_flower thank you! I agree that it's probably just best to talk to him.

      @hayfevered i burst out laughing thanks

  2. she broke your throne

    I love the imagery here! and also is this an infinity war reference? :)
  3. Coming Out part 2

    Coming out can be a really terrifying concept and process, but you are strong and brave and capable of doing it if that's what you decide on. Just remember that even if everything doesn't work out, your family does not define you. You are still a valid, wonderful person and you'll find other people that love you and support you. (Sorry for the over abundance of coming out cliches) (they're true, though! you are great!)
  4. breakup without an actual relationship

    I'm sorry, that's too bad. Feel free to rant or talk or whatever you want to do here, we'll always be here to listen and help you out in what ever way we can <3
  5. Overheard Quotes

    "oh, how do you two know each other?" "you introduced us" "oh right...."
  6. little things

    I kinda want to cry right now this is literally how I feel all of the time. Thank you so much, I honestly can't even put into words how amazing it is to know someone else feels the same way. Also wow I've caved in many times for the "am i gay" google search, and you're right it's always super stereotypical. Hooray for buzzfeed, I guess.
  7. Overheard Quotes

    That's basically a summary of what I do every week I'm laughing so hard right now
  8. bloody bandaids (tw: blood)

    Oh my god these characters are so so great
  9. The Most Ridiculous Thing

    the most ridiculous thing about realizing you’re probably a lesbian is that it’s also the first time that your heart pounds really, really fast like lightning strikes flying out of your body when you see a boy, not because you think he’s hot but because he’s gay. too. he’s gay too, and you’ve talked about Love, Simon together (you told him how you cried 3 times) he’s gay too, and you forget to agree with him when he calls other guys cute (because it’s so exhausting to trick yourself into saying something you know you’ll never actually believe) he’s gay too, and when you make a comment in English class about how hypocritical biblically driven homophobia is when you talk about Oscar Wilde in class (you blush too hard and stumble and stutter over your words too much) you're afraid he did a double take from the desk behind you, gaydar: on insecurity: detected you: gay it’s not like you’re even really friends- you don’t wave to each other in the hallway because to be honest he’s a little intimidating (and you’re 95% sure he does drugs, and even if it’s just weed you’re 500% sure you don’t want to get mixed up in that) and you’re a nerd and you don’t like his popular-ish friends (they’re snobby, and this comes from experience) but still, these are the lightning strikes you can finally point out in dark, dark blue skies and lean back, laughing at how stupid and blind you were before for thinking the fires you tried to start out of a broken matchbox and fear could ever compare to a wonderfully platonic feeling of not being alone.
  10. noah

    Yeah, I really think he'd love this! It captures everything about having a brother who you're close with so nicely. (I have one too)
  11. I'll go with you

    Oh god this is so cute and the imagery is fantastic!
  12. Sticky Note Art?

    This sounds really cool!
  13. It’s Wednesday and I’m scared

    I feel like that too. I'm going to participate in the walkout too, but it's nerve-wracking for more reasons than just my teacher's reactions. (Also, I thought the walkout was a nationwide thing)
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