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Found 1 result

  1. twin fantasy

    it’s like the moon when it’s up on the other side of the globe. i’ll leave y’all behind when you decide to let me self-destruct in peace. it’s not the actual self-destructing i care about, it’s that it shows me you care. i woke up and i was trying to kill you. i tell myself that it’s going to get better better better! but when i hit the ground i still won’t eat enough and i’m still too large and i’d still die to get away from my mother. it’s like when i love you loud enough that the whole world knows but no one really cares. except for not really, because i’m terrified and you’re uncomfortable most of the time, and so it never really works out like that. i’d pretend to be drunk or something when i display vulnerability, especially around you, but we all know that’s not going to work out. we all know i don’t drink and i’m too candid to fake my way through something like that. i just want to learn how to say “i love you,” without hurting anyone or myself or making things weird. this is a poem about comp het crushes and how they can overlap into friend-love type situations. written while listening to car seat headrest's 2011 album twin fantasy.
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