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Anxiety I’m glad i’m in your life. So glad that society introduced you to me. Now that we’re together, there's no leaving. We are together forever. I am bonded to you. You can’t throw me away, i’m staying. Oh and, i’m clingy. Super clingy. I’ll always be right beside you, attached to you. I’ll follow you to the bathroom in the morning and, when you look in the mirror, i’ll tell you that they won’t like you. I’ll tell you that after this moment of seeing your face, you won’t be able to see it again. I’ll tell mirror to lie to you. To misshape your face and decieve you. Your nose isn’t proportional to your face. I’ll follow you back to your room, into your closet to search for clothes. I’ll tell you that the boy you like hates that color, that the other will make you look bad. I’ll also follow you as you change, forcing your eyes to scan the room and your head to spin around making sure no one sees you change. Then, i’ll follow you outside and on the bus. I’ll give you the fear of tripping and falling. The fear of what if this big yellow bus ends up flipping and you will never see your family again. I’ll give you that fear of the girl that bullies you. The one that will call you names. What if she fights you today on the bus? What if? What if? What if? I’ll explode your mind with these what ifs and improve your heartbeat because it wasn’t fast enough for me. I’m also going to steal your breath from your lungs, just because I want to. I’ll make it feel like your ribs have caved in and are stabbing you in the lungs. I’ll push those tears out of your eyes. You’re going to gasp for air for me, possibly hyperventilate. Yet, after that i’m tired. So I’ll leave you alone when your best friend gets on the bus. Just so you can finally have a laugh and I can have some rest. But then, you arrive to your school. Time to get off the bus, babygirl. Man I love calling you that. Makes me even more clingy. I’m up from my nap and even more hyper than a 4 year old. I’m so awake. I’m gonna make your brain roar, i’m gonna cause ruckus. My turn, babygirl. You walk past the red brick wall and now you’re in sight of people in the cafe. You’re nervous. What’re they going to think of me? Is my outfit not right? What about my hair? That’s me thinking that. I’m in control. We’re best friends? Right? How was that compliment? She said you look cute today. But, did she mean it? Of course she didn’t. Nobody ever says what they mean. I just love controlling your thoughts. It’s so great. WAIT!!! STOP!!! Too fast, you’re going to trip down the stairs and embarrass yourself. Gosh, clumsy girl. No wonder why nobody likes you anyways. Just keep walking. You finish down the stairs, you’re exposed to people. You knew that wall wouldn’t hide you forever. Are they staring at you? Yes. welcome to humiliation. The what-ifs are back. You’re shaking. Oh god yes. Your shaking brings me pleasure. I love it so much. Keep going on with your internal earthquake. You finally enter the room where all your ‘friends’ are. They’re only your friends because of your boyfriend. Sure. true friends. You see your ex. Oh my the thoughts I spark about him. What if he comes over here and grabs me again? What if he tries to talk to me? What if he is staring at me? What if he……? So many flowing through your head. Boy am I really alive now. Your phone just vibrated. It’s your ex, he wants you back and he is blowing up your phone again. He is begging for you back, he needs your attention, baby. He needs his babygirl back. Ohhhh there is that word I love to call you again. Babygirl, babygirl. I’ll just chant it in your head. He used to call you that. Didn’t he? You’re still in love with him. What’s that feeling on your mouth? Do you miss his kiss? Of course you do. But what if that’s all he wants from you? Of course it is. I can’t believe you going on and on about him up here. Remember the fights? The arguments? Yeah.. there we go. You’re not thinking good of him any more are you. Think about all of the times me and you got to lay in bed together and the salty taste of your tears. The position, I really hope your pillow couldn’t feel the pain of your grip or hear the sobs or feel and taste the tears. Remember him grabbing you? Remember that? Don’t go back to him. It’ll happen again. He’s still texting you. You’re reading them all. Heart almost beating out of your chest by the last one. Is he going to go off today? I wouldn’t risk it. You’re almost there now. One more thought to replay or think of. You think again of what he might do to you. You know he is stronger than you. You can’t go to class, he is going to be in there. But you can go to the bathroom. Then there is a mirror. You look in it and sob. You’re worthless. You’re nothing but a toy to guys. He only wanted you for his own pleasure. And when he didn’t get it? He treated you like crap and told you he loved you still. YOU ARE NOTHING!!! There it is, the tears all for me. Thank you, I so needed a bath. Keep them coming, i’m not finished yet. Another text is sent to you. But it’s not him. It’s your boyfriend now. Hey babygirl, are you ok? Ouuu, babygirl. Are you ok? No. you tell him no. He rushes to the bathrooms and shoots another text saying he is there. You go out to him and the first thing he does is gather all of the broken you in his arms and hold you together. He’s like the glue to put you back together. That don’t stop the tears from streaming down your face. Your heart is beating faster than a race horse’s. My favorite, it’s not fast enough for me still but I guess that this pace is going to have to work. Oh, and your breath. I’m stealing it. Using it for myself because I don’t think or care about you. I’ll take it all until you’re blue in the face. My breaths now. There is that pain you asked for when you wore that shirt today. He holds you closer, it makes you feel worthless. Because you’re this broken girl in this strong guys arms. But then you realize the good of it all when HE tells you that you look good today. HIS compliments mean everything to you. HIS touch, HIS arms, HIS hands. HE is EVERYTHING in this moment. HE wants you to get rid of me. Well, news flash, babygirl, i’m not going anywhere. Forever and ever. We are married in perfect unison. He’s on our lives now and we need him. I’m just going to make things hard for you. Since, you know we are together forever. He is trying to get in my way. Not happening. I’m just going to make you second guess and assume and think he is everything but what he truly is. Oh yeah, i’m gonna make you scared of those 3 little words too. That start with I and end with you. Don’t want him to say those do we, babygirl? Those 4 words that your dad used when you were little. Speaking of that thing, where is he? I force the thoughts of your father upon you. The what ifs of him showing at your house again high off of whatever drug he could get this time. The sound of his voice, the yelling and screaming. His towering height, and massive hands with the super strong grip. We shouldn’t bring him up though. But i’ll do it anyways. I’m going to make your life a living hell and all you can do is live with me. Why do I do that? Because my name is anxiety and i’m your new life partner. Your significant other that you wish wouldn’t be so significant. We are married together forever in unison and i’ll only be here through the worse. I love you, babygirl. Love, Anxiety