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Chaos. That’s all I ever knew. Why would I expect my life to ever be any different? I had bounced from home to home for years, passed back and forth from parent to parent like an object instead of a human. Guess that’s how it goes when you’re the child of a divorced household. But then I met you. You were my stability, my solace. You gave me a constant I never had before. You gave me someone to go to when everything else was crumbling. I met you in May. I liked you in the July heat. I kissed you in August, under the fig tree in your front yard after our walk back from the skate park down the street. I fell in love with you in November, when the leaves changed color and the days grew shorter. In my world of darkness, you gave me hope that everything would be okay. Through the bickering, the custody battles, the fights, you were by my side telling me everything would be okay. You held my hand when my knuckles were bloody from punching my bedroom wall. You stroked my cheek when I shaved my head in protest of my father’s rules. You consoled my fears when I broke down and couldn’t handle this life anymore. When the alcohol and screaming were too strong, you were my place to hide. In February, you promised to never leave me. In March, you held me when I found out my father drank himself to death. In April, you reminded me what the sunshine felt like. In May, i lost you to a man whose car came out of nowhere and rolled you into a ditch. In May, my world ceased to exist in the way I knew it when they buried you in a closed casket. In May, I stopped feeling anything because it caused more pain than I could bare. I lost the thing that brought me peace in a matter of seconds. I’m not angry with you. You’re in a better place, a place where pain can’t touch you. I’m angry that I made it out okay. I’m angry that I got to walk away. I met you in May, when the sun was high in the sky and the summer heat was building. And I lost you on a day just the same, without warning or notice. I met you in May, but now you’re gone and I’m left to keep going. But that’s okay. May brings you back to me.