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[author's note: a bit of dialogue facilitated through a chat client used by two characters. it's a homeless snippet so ill probably never put it into a story, but im crying laughing over here so im posting it] -- TT [turingTested] began pestering KA [kaffenAficionado] at 9:13 AM -- TT: Good morning, I'm suffering from sleeping on the fucking floor all night. KA: Well, let's go find breakfast, and maybe some coffee. TT: Coffee? TT: I'll put creamer in YOUR coffee. KA: What flavor of creamer? If it's pumpkin spice, that's too white girl for me. TT: Hazel-NUT. KA: Only you would make a nut joke about coffee creamers. TT: You charmed yet? KA: Keep flirting and you might find out. TT: Honestly all attempts have been shots in the fucking dark. TT: I have no clue how to flirt. KA: Well, then this is gonna get hella awkward, isn't it? TT: There's an approximate 78% chance that yes, this is potentially going to reach ungodly levels of awkward. KA: Well, I say we make awkward work. TT: You know what else you make work? KA: You're going to turn this into a pick-up line, aren't you? TT: You bet that sweet ass I am. KA: Why are you betting your own ass? TT: Holy damn. KA: Honestly, if this planet doesn't kill me, your flirting will. TT: Now that would be a cryin' shame. I ain't no necrophile. KA: Jesus christ, Hal. They say silent as the dead and you're doing something wrong. TT: Well, you obviously haven't listened to my faaavorite Halloween song, Code Blue. KA: Honestly, terrible as that was, I can probably top that. TT: Joke's on you, Kade. I bottom for no one. KA: Let's just get you your god damn coffee. TT: AHAHA YOU CONCEDED TT: THIS MEANS I WIN KA: Oh, fuck off. TT: AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS KA: *Heavy sigh.* You get to leave your wallet at home. TT: IM ORDERING 11 SHOTS OF ESPRESSO TT: ANY MORE AND STARBUCKS CUTS ME OFF KA: I'm paying, so I'm setting the rules, and I'm telling you RIGHT NOW that all you're getting is decaf. KA: You're terrible enough even without caffeine. TT: Spoilsport. KA: Your impending myocardial infarction thanks me. -- KA [kaffenAficionado] ceased pestering TT [turingTested] at 9:38 AM -- [another author's note: also @O. Captain i feel like you'd appreciate this for. ahem. shared literary tastes]